Are You Being Too Judgmental On Your Dates?


If you're wondering where all of the good men are hiding, you may just need a change in perspective.

So how do we find all of these available men?

It begins with taking a really good look at ourselves. What are we really being picky about and are we being picky about the right things?

While we are beautiful, radiant, confident women who deserve nothing less than a man who is available to commit to us, available to be in a relationship with us and treats us with that same love and respect we have for ourselves, we also need to be realistic. How he treats us should be the number one thing we are paying attention to. It needs to be.

Sure we need to be attracted to him. But before we decide to dismiss him simply because our chemistry indicator isn't off the charts the first time we meet him, we need to consider someone may also be dismissing us in this same manner. Wouldn't we want more than that kind of surface dismissal? Wouldn't we want someone to give us a chance to get to know them and for them to find out more about who we really are and what we really have to offer them?

The truth is there are some really great guys out there who are a bit nervous on the first date, might stammer a bit or might have trouble carrying on a conversation the entire night without any uncomfortable silences. But once you get to know him, things will get better and better. Once he feels comfortable telling you about his hobby, of say, comic book collecting and you let him know that it's okay with you, things will start to flow and a real connection can build.

If you tend to reject a man very quickly based on superficial qualities or some small thing that can be overlooked, think about how you would feel if you went out on a date and a guy rejected you because he didn't like the dress that you wore or he thought you weren't interesting enough. You'd think he was making a big mistake and the truth is he would be making a big mistake. But so are you if you reject a guy for any similarly small reasons.

When we turn the tables on ourselves, it really is that simple. It's about really giving someone a chance. Holding off judgment until we've actually had a chance to get to know someone more than just that initial impression. Getting to know someone who really is and what they're really like. How they treat us.

We're expecting them to get to know the real us, so isn't it time we gave them the same chance?

Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it's like to have a broken heart, a broken dream and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at

To get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane's complimentary guide "Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want...and Deserve"

This article was originally published at Getting to True Love . Reprinted with permission from the author.