Free Sex Can Be The Most Expensive


How much is free sex costing you?

Have you ever had free sex? By free sex, I mean having a one night stand, friends with benefits sex, or sex where 'we both know this isn't going anywhere.' You've probably never thought about it, but free sex may be the most expensive sex you'll ever have. It may cost you ever having children or grandchildren, and spending the last of your days alone.

Have you ever met the perfect person or a dream partner? Or are you still waiting to meet the perfect person? I believe we've all met the perfect person; the challenge is when the perfect person becomes imperfect. When they do something we don't like, when they hurt us, when they don't call us back, or when they let us down.

Everyone is perfect for the first 90 days: it's called the perfect phase. Some people live continually in the perfect phase. They're called 90 day wonders. They meet someone,  they have sex on the first day, and every day thereafter. They spend all their time together, until somewhere around the 90th day, the perfect person becomes imperfect, and they wonder what happened.

Then they call their forgotten best friend, you, everyday, heartbroken; they can't believe it didn't work out, convinced they can't get over it until suddenly you don't hear from them. Do you know what happened? They met another perfect person. On and on they go, chasing mirage after mirage until at the end of their days they look back and the don't see their grandchildren, they don't see their children, instead they spend the rest of their days alone.

Do you know what a man gives up when he commits, when he gets married? Besides all the great free sex he thinks he could be having ... irresponsibility. He takes on responsibility for others. Do you know what a woman gives up? Besides George Clooney ... independence.

Together they form an interdependence. They commit to a relationship with an imperfect person, then at the end of their days when they look back, they see their grandchildren, they see their children, and they have each other. They're not alone.

Virtue and integrity are the foundations of love and a well-lived life. The only way you know you love yourself — or anyone else — is by the commitments you're willing to make and keep. Sex is great, it inspires us — but love brings us home.

Get coaching from a male perspective.Change your relationship status from single to in a relationship.

More Advice on Relationships from YourTango:

This article was originally published at James Allen Hanrahan . Reprinted with permission from the author.