How to Date After Divorce

Love, Heartbreak

5 tips to help you feel confident and start dating again.

2. Take it slow  This applies to the frequency dates and the number of dating partners.  You don’t have to date like a rock star or a super model out the gate!  Take it slow.  Date one or two different people.  Your tastes and preferences may have changed.  And don’t change your life to accommodate a date.  Keep the things you love in your life, --in your life!   Having a great life is attractive.  Pick a night or an afternoon or two when you would normally have free time and share it with the opposite sex.  There is nothing worse than a desperate man or woman telling you "I can be free whenever you are free."

3. Play/experiment Date people you may not ordinarily date.  Be willing to try different activities – things you are interested in of course  or things that you’ve never tried.  Allow your friends to fix you up or go on a blind date.  Try internet dating or a MeetUp group.  Depending on how long it’s been since you’ve been “out there” dating may have changed for you.  Be willing to play and experiment to explore what’s new in the world and what’s new for you.

4. Take the pressure off yourself to get it right  There’s no right way to date.  There are no camera’s following you.  You don’t have to be perfect at it.  No one is perfect at it.  Sometimes the best connections come out of the worst "dates".  Or the worst dates come from people who seemingly have the right "dating-resume."  Sometimes the magic will happen and sometimes it won’t.  It helps you to better define who you are and what you want so "it’s all good."

5. Enjoy yourself Have fun!  I can’t stress this one enough. You should be enjoying the activity and the person.  Set your dating life up so that it is enjoyable for you!  Don’t go out with people if you don’t feel like they are good company.  Don’t accept invitations to events and activities you don’t like.  Be willing to share some of your activities with them if they’ve communicated it’s something they would enjoy.  Think outside the box and do something you’ve never done or something you’ve always wanted to do.  Dating is fun! If it’s not fun you are doing it wrong!

Getting back out there can be an exciting adventure.  It doesn’t have to be "something-you-have-to-do-to-be-in-a-relationship"  It can be an enjoyable way to connect to other human beings and having a blast at the same time.

For more information on dating after a divorce or break up, join Coach Ivy on July 29, in Columbia, MD for How to Get Over Him for Good and Date Like a Supermodel!