Photo: Rocketclips, Inc. | Shutterstock
When words just aren't enough.
By Gretchen Martens — Last updated on Jan 21, 2023
We’ve all read about the grand gestures people make to say "I love you."
Boyfriends propose on jumbotrons or hire planes to trail banners. Lovers plan exotic vacations or dinners in expensive restaurants.
So, what do you do if you don’t have the resources to wow your loved one with a headline-grabbing stunt? Why not try a sincere, old-fashioned approach?
Here are nine sweet, old-fashioned courtship ideas that'll make him swoon:
1. Make a card
Do you remember making Valentine's cards for your mom in elementary school? She loved them, didn’t she? Maybe she still has them taped to her refrigerator.
Your sweetheart will treasure a handmade card. Craft stores have lots of supplies for making papercrafts.
You can do a Google search for ideas. A trip to the craft store plus an hour or so of work and you have created a personalized token of your love.
2. Give her a locket
Is the woman you love a Jane Austen fan or a hopeless romantic? Consider giving her a locket with your picture in it. Add a lock of your hair for extra effect.
Lockets don’t have to be expensive. They’re easy to find on Amazon, Etsy, or eBay. And, you’ll both feel good knowing she keeps you close to her heart!
3. Write a poem
It can be free form, or you can write a sonnet or a haiku. There are plenty of online resources for writing poetry.
Yes, it’s the thought that counts. If you love the idea but really don’t believe you have the talent, you can copy a poem.
Pablo Neruda and Rumi have some great poems about love. Or Google a topic like "romantic poems."
Find some pictures on Google images. Print it out on nice paper. Bonus if you frame it.
Voila! You have created another memento to be treasured forever.
4. Bring her dandelions
Technically, they’re weeds. But, for 6-year-old boys, they are an expression of love ... or at least, like.
Do you have a crush? Give her a dandelion bouquet tied with a pretty ribbon. Wildflowers work, too, if they’re legal to pick.
Don’t forget, some men like getting flowers too! It’s the gesture, not the gift.
5. If you’re musical, write a song
You can write the music yourself if you have the ability. Or, take a tune you know and write your own lyrics. You can perform it live in a romantic setting or record it so your love interest can listen to it over and over.
When you love each other, being pitch-perfect doesn’t matter.
6. Read a book together
Take turns reading chapters aloud. Pick something romantic like Captain Corelli’s Mandolin or a Jane Austin novel. Or pick a fiction bestseller like Truly Madly Guilty by Liane Moriarty or The Nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney.
The website, Goodreads, has great lists for every genre. Find a quiet, cozy place. Have some cocoa or a glass of wine. Snuggle up and enjoy.
7. Whip up something sweet
Almost everyone likes a sweet treat. It’s even better when it’s made for you by the person who makes your life sweeter every day.
Cookies, brownies, chocolate-dipped strawberries — it’s all good. If you want to go grand, make a treat to be shared at the office.
Let them share with the world that they are loved by you.
8. Leave love notes
Leave these in little places to be discovered spontaneously. Under a pillow. In a lunch bag. Tucked in a wallet or briefcase. Typed into a screensaver.
Remind them of how much they’re loved, in little ways. Or, write a love letter.
Want to wow? Plan a special dinner and exchange love letters.
9. Take them out on romantic outings
Picnics. Candlelit dinners. Walks in the woods or along the shore. A rowboat ride in Central Park. A bike ride along the canal. Dancing in the moonlight. A visit to a museum to see the Renoirs. Victorian novels are full of ideas for romantic outings.
Romantic outings pair well with other love gestures. Give her a locket with your picture in the middle of Central Park.
Slip him a love letter while sitting on a log in the forest. Propose all over again. The effect is priceless.
These old-fashioned ideas are beautiful because of their simplicity. They are heartfelt and authentic. And, they are free or close to it.
Real love is not measured in dollars spent, but by the love and attention invested in doing something special for the one you love. The human species has been doing it for thousands of years.
As Emma, a Jane Austen character, said in a novel of the same name, "There is no charm equal to tenderness of the heart."
More for You:
Gretchen Martens is an author, speaker, coach, and happiness expert. Her methods draw from three decades of eclectic experience as an anthropologist, an ontological coach, an experiential educator, and as an improvisational comedy performer.