5 Questions To See If You Need A Couples Counselor


Have you ever asked yourself if you should see a couples counselor?

“Are we gonna make it?”

Almost every day couples ask me: Are we gonna make it?”  It’s an important question and I'm glad they’re asking- it tells me they care if they have a future or not.

But the truth is, it doesn’t matter if I think they’ll make it or not.  What really matters is if  they believe they'll make it or not.  Which isn’t always easy.  I know all too well the couples I meet with who are having trouble finding hope after frequent arguments, building resentments, and loneliness have set in.

It can be hard to see the sun through the clouds.

The thing is, I often have hope when my client’s have lost it (it's part of my job).  Here's what a lot of people mean when they ask me this question: is couples counseling right for us?

You can be even stronger together.  

  1. If you have found yourself wondering if couples counseling or relationship coaching is right for you as yourself the following:
  2. Do you know each other’s individual life dreams?  Do you have shared dreams?
  3. How well do you know each other now?  How are you different than you were when you first fell in love?
  4. What is unique about your connection?  Do you feel emotionally connected?
  5. Is your sex life satisfying?  Do you feel energetic passion, desire, or fascination with each other?
  6. Are you able to resolve conflicts with humor and respect?  Are you able to agree to disagree?
  7. Is there space for each of you to have a full range of emotions (happy, sad, mad, afraid) in your relationship?

Couples counseling can help you answer and nourish all these relationship needs.  You can walk away feeling clearer about your future together with greater understanding and deeper genuine authentic connection.  Couples counseling can help you fight with greater respect, or rekindle sexual energy.  It can help you see your relationship with new clarity and compassion.

Instead of asking yourself “are we gonna make it” maybe try asking “is couples counseling right for us?”

Are you going to make it?  I hope so.  And I’m happy to help.

More couples counseling advice from Yourtango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.