When a couple breaks up, it’s natural for their friends to pick a side. But who gets what friend?
MAKING BREAK-UPS EASIER ON FRIENDS
If you’re concerned about losing friends after losing a significant other, Ikka offers a few tips to keep in mind:
- Don’t bash your partner in front of friends. Ikka says it is okay to talk to your friends about your experiences, feelings, doubts, and fears, especially while the breakup is raw because after all, what are friends for? However, "it would be unfair to your friends to introduce any character assassination, unnecessary negativity, or untruths about your ex-partner that may influence how your friends then behave around your ex."
- Stick to the facts. Although this depends on your own level of self-awareness and emotional maturity, try to, "be as forthcoming and transparent as possible when discussing your breakup and/or ex."
- Explain how friends can help. Tell your friends how they can best support you, Ikka says. "Sometimes, friends in this situation just don’t know what to do, what’s expected of them, or what the 'right' thing might be. Any guidance you can provide will make the situation easier for everyone."
*Name has been changed.
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Kelly Rouba is an accomplished journalist and public speaker, having started her career at age 19 when she took a position as a stringer for the Trenton Times while still in college. Among the various publications she now writes for is Action magazine, thisabled.com, and mobilewomen.org. She is also the author of Juvenile Arthritis: The Ultimate Teen Guide.