Desperately Seeking A Gentleman


It doesn't take a nice car or a black AMEX to be a gentleman.It's not what you have,but how you act.

For some men, the art of being a gentleman is second nature. They ooze a certain sense of confidence and debonair. Whether they were raised well, its in their DNA or they were inspired by characters seen in movies, some men just know how to wow a woman. 

For others, it can be a challenge. Courtmanship and courtesy are as foreign as speaking Latin. In fact, speaking Latin may be easier. Saying "Bless you" after a sneeze is as close to chivalrous as they get. Behind their backs they may have been deemed a cad, rude or insensitive because of their actions when truth be told, they simply do not know any better.

Some women do want to be catered to and showered with affection. It can be very enduring when a lady feels like - a lady. After watching countless chick flicks, reading numerous romance novels and listening to thousands of love songs, some women are looking for "love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." (a la Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and The City).

With this love, they are also looking for their own version of Mr. Big - charming, old-fashioned, romantic and easy on the eyes. Carrie's Mr. Big, although often portrayed as a cad, rude and insensitive, did one thing right. He was a true gentleman.

If you are not the CEO of a major corporation, don't have a florist on speed dial or don't have access to your own private Town Car and driver, how can you sweep a woman off her feet and have her fall head over her stiletto heels into your arms?  

  1. Pick up the phone. Texting may be unlimited on your phone plan, but it is limiting your communication skills. Call to ask her out or say you had a wonderful time. You probably have more than enough minutes available to do this.
  2. Open the door for her. Car door, restaurant door or front door - open it. Unless it's the bathroom stall, hold the door open and let her walk in before you. Be sure to open the door wide with your hand and do not use your foot to hold it open. Don't be lazy. 
  3. Pull out her chair at the table. Let her take her seat. Be patient, allow her to sit down and then you can follow.
  4. Hold your tongue. Do not speak over her or finish her sentences. Let her have her turn in the conversation. You will learn more by listening. You have one mouth and two ears - use them accordingly. 
  5. Pick up the check. If you planned the date, pay for the date. Simple as that. 
  6. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Did you say you will call her? Then call her. If you have no intention of speaking to her again, say goodbye. 
  7. Plan the next date. Don't leave a lady in waiting. Make plans to see each other again, sooner than later. 

Being a gentleman isn't about how you look, what you wear or what you drive, it's about how you act. Although some may consider it old-fashioned, others consider it romantic. If you put the lady first, you just may be the last man she ever has to date. 

Contributed by Kimberly James, MatchMaster & Dating Expert, www.findyourplusone.com