How to Answer the Five W’s of Being Single This Holiday Season

Love, Self

You're single & ready to mingle and everyone wants to know why Santa hasn’t brought you a plus one.

During the holidays, it can be a challenging time for fun loving singles looking for love.  When invitations to work parties, friend’s gatherings and cookie exchanges call for an RSVP Plus One, it may be a reminder that you are not coupled up during the merriest of seasons.

Close family and friends most likely already know your relationship status. However, those in your distant circle or people you just meet may not know your aren’t otherwise engaged in a relationship unless you have chosen to wear a scarlet S on your chest for SINGLE. Rather than have awkward conversations or feel a need to defend yourself, wear your singlehood with pride during the holiday season.

Here are five ways to answer the well intended but dreaded five W’s:

  • “Who are you here with?” – “I’m a Party of One tonight.” Asked and answered. There’s not much more to say beyond that.
  • “What are you doing for the holidays?” – “Spending it with three of my closest friends.” The hidden meaning here is actually true. You will be spending the holidays with “me, myself and I” and that is a party in itself.
  • “Where will you spend Christmas-Hanukkah-Kwanzaa?”  - If it’s with family, friends or volunteering, answer truthfully. If you will indeed be home alone, than simply say, “At home. I’m keeping it low key this year. It’s been such a busy month; it’s nice to have some down time.”
  • “When are you going to settle down like your sister-cousin-best friend?” – This question can be a double edge sword. Chances are you know more about these relationships than the person who is asking. So, rather than reveal any of the couple’s dirty laundry, smile and say, “I’m so happy for them, but I am looking for someone who is right for me. “
  • “Why aren’t you already married? You’re so fabulous” – You know you’re fabulous and you know aren’t married. But other people seem to need know why.  A great response is straight from the heart, “Thank you for the compliment. I’ll be sure to send you an invite when I do get married.” Sure, it’s a deflection. But this is a casual setting, not therapy. Have some fun.

It is not a kiss of death to not have a partner or significant other this time of year, but it can be hard to escape the romanticism of the season created through movies, department store window scenes and “Season Greetings from the Jones” holiday cards bombarding your mailbox.

Buy yourself a present, decorate your house and go to the parties. You deserve a happy holiday and just as the saying goes, the more you put yourself out there, the better your chances of finding a plus one.