"It's Complicated..."


There was a crossover between my new boyfriend and my ex.

I have been dating my bf since November 2010. He was the one who proposed me when I was dragging my relationship with my ex, and when I broke up with my ex, he expressed his feelings towards me. He respected me dating with my ex, and didnt push his feelings onto me, only until I had completely broken up with my ex. Just last year we have been continuously fighting over little issues, that can be easily solved and dealt. Most of the times I broke up temporarily but he convinced me and I convinced myself to get back to him. Sometimes he broke up too and i convinced to get him back. While we used to have these fights, he told me about himself how its written in his fate, that no matter whichever woman he dates, he will end up fighting and eventually breaking up with her, and thats the reason of us fighting.

Hence we also went to our priest to know how could we avoid this and that how long would it last. He said that this year is the most critical year of our relationship and that we should avoid being close to each other and the farther we stay, the more our love will grow. Just in January, we had a break up over him not appreciating the fact that i come from work early on fridays to be with him, as thats the only day we meet, as he decided to fix his phone. we both argued and convinced each other and it was fine. Recently the past long weekend, we fought again as I got pissed that while spending time with his family, he wouldnt text me. he would text me, then i would text back, and then he just left me waiting. So i got pissed and yelled at him the other day saying that i dont need him. after that he didnt call me or text me. Meanwhile i felt very lonely and upset, so i decided to talk to one of my old friends on facebook, telling him what happened and how lonely i felt. While just expressing my loneliness, the talk became a little intimate where he asked me about my figure, and i just kept going discussing with him, without any intention of liking him or being with him. it was just a conversation.

Earlier, I had given my bf the password of my facebook and this time he logged in randomly and checked our conversation and was very shocked to hear that I shared this information with my friend. he decided to break up and never talk back to me. he even swore at me calling me a you-know-what and in return i called him dickhead out of anger to what he called me. I kept convincing him that I apologize for what I did, but didnt mean it, and that i will never share this ever again and it was a mistake as i felt lonely. Since then i have been convincing him to get back with me. I also tried talking to her sisters, but I'm not sure if they tried to convince him or not. I tried writing in the ex boyfriend journal. I begged him, cried, even got angry and called him a coward, but he just wants to become friends, which i dont agree with. today I called him home and cried and begged to him. But he wouldn't change his decision. He wouldn't even hug me when i was cry to calm me down.

And then he was like I have to leave as im getting late to work, so while he was stepping out, I returned back everything he gave me including the birthday presents and teddy bears. and he left. I am lost now. I really love him and need him back. I know that I'm not doing this due to the sense of being rejected, but because I actually love him. He says that he wants to move on hence he isnt showing any love and that he was hesitating to meet today too. He said i should stop pleading as its just pushing him away from me.