Are You In An "On Again, Off Again" Relationship?


I’ve been on again off again w/my ex. My story is a lil complicated. I’ve known my ex as for many years as acqaintences/friends actually since we were kids. My story is complicated because I dont know if the honeymoon phase applys to me considering the circumstances. Things were great in the beginning but my ex is a sort of non-confritational guy and his friend whom is rather was a mutual friend of mine is manipulative and selfish. Anyways, his friend was very angry when he discovered that my ex and I (and how to get a guy back) were together because appearently he liked me himself.

The two of them are in a band together and I know it all seems very highschool. The worse part is about the 2nd month into the relationship I became pregnant. I was scared and devastated and overwhelmed with guilt for being irresponsible. I shortly after had a misscariage it was a terrible time in my life. I was sure it was over now! We seemed to get through it and at first he pulled away a little but wanted to remain friends which was not what he had in mind. He said he just wished my friend wasn’t involved but at the time I had continued to be friends with both of them. I thought the other guy was trully my friend both our parents had died and so we had some ties but I NEVER had any other feelings for him other than as a friend and I made myself clear to both of them on this point. I told my ex that I would not to hang out w/him anymore if he wanted.

Anyways, me and my ex at this point were sleeping together but he didnt want to be in a relationship because he said it had to do with his status and financial situation and that I belong with a guy who has more but I dont care about material things I’m more concerned with someones character and how they treat me. I just feel money situations are actually easier to change than someones personality. Anyways, we had just got back together so to speak things were great he was taking me out to eat and to the movies etc and we were involved sexually at this point. Just a couple of days later my ex and I had coffee with our mutual friend who liked me and well it didn’t go well. Our friend acted like a complete 2 yr. old and my ex started to act different and I could tell he was influenced by his friend. I asked my friend why he was acting like this and he just stormed out of the coffee shop. Me and my now ex talked after he left and he went on about not wanting to be in a relationship and I calmly said even though I was in so much pain after everything I had been through that if thats what he wanted I would accept it but that I could not hang out with him as “friends”.

We still are civil but I’ve seen him since and Im friendly but we haven’t hung out. The last time I talked to him was accidental I had gone out with a friend and accidently text him. He called the next day, to find out what I had meant as my text didnt make sense to him but thats because I thought it was someone else. I was upbeat and friendly when he called I explained and he tried to continue the conversation but I cut it short and said I had to get ready for work. I did however sneak into my conversation w/him that I havent spoken to out mutual friend and that although I’m not harboring anger towards him I just think its best I dont hang out with him. It has now been about 2 weeks since that last conversation. I have gone back to the no contact phase. I’ve avoided hanging out in places we both used to go so as not to run into him. Im not on facebook anymore so we dont communicate that way. Im afraid he’ll forget me because we have no contact at all unless I or he implements it. Please help! What are the steps I need to take from here?

Thank you!