Self-confidence Vs Arrogance


Don't think too much of yourself but, don't have a low self-esteem either!

As children, we have been taught that if you celebrate yourself, compliment yourself, claim compliments given, etc you are arrogant and think too much of yourself. Is this not the reason why people struggle to say thank when complimented today?

Being arrogant (celebrate yourself, compliment yourself and feel proud of yourself) is much- much worse, apparently. After almost 2 years of working with people as a Neuro-Linguistic Programming(NLP) practitioner, I have come to the conclusion that most South Africans have a low self-esteem. According to Dr Caroline Leaf, Neuro Scientist, Everything starts with just a thought. Let me explain it as simple as possible; you start with a thought, this thought is then supported by a belief which then manifests this thought and turns into reality. Example; Jennifer talks to Lisa. Lisa is having a bad day. Jennifer thinks to herself that Lisa does not really want to be her friend (hence the negative vibes). Because of Jenifer’s belief; “I am just average”, the thought of Lisa not really wanting to be friends get manifested and turns into reality. How long do you think this friendship can last? If this is the impact it has on friendships, how much worse on marriage? The working environment?

Most of us started with; you are ok, BUT not THAT ok... Leaving our minds to form a limiting belief that we are just average.
Apparently we do not have enough jobs in South Africa, apparently, your skin color determines whether you have a job, apparently, your skin color determines what your pay cheque will be. All of these negative beliefs are a result of having an AVERAGE opinion of ourselves.

Let’s turn it around; if you absolutely believe you have what it takes, you are unique in your own way, you bring something different to society, how different would your approach be to your job? Friends? Family? Will the fact that the media say; “There are not enough jobs!” have an effect on you?

Please please please keep in mind that the media is a BUSINESS, they have to make money and, therefore, need to write whatever sells. See every article through the perception of the individual who wrote it. My aunt gave a speech once which the media turned into a political statement. She was devastated and vowed to never ever speak in public again. Be careful of what you read and decide is the truth.

The people of South Africa have believed they are average for FAR TOO LONG! It is time to claim how brilliant, talented, amazing and clever we are. The time to find your wings is NOW!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frighten us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You playing small do not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson.

Elsa is a Master NLP Practitioner and Transformation Coach at Take a Leap Coaching. Let her help YOU find your wings!

This article was originally published at Take A Leap Coaching. Reprinted with permission from the author.