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Thinking that your weight is a problem holds you back from living a life that you love.
By Elizabeth Hall — Written on Jul 11, 2019
We all want to learn the secret for how to be happy, but when we're too concerned with our weight and body image, we can't live the life we truly deserve.
When we have a body that we don't like, we fall into the trap of constantly wanting to change that body. But, we are trying to change the wrong thing and, thus, we never find our way to happiness.
As kids, we pick up beliefs from the world around us. Many of us picked up the belief that there was something wrong with our bodies or something was wrong in general.
These beliefs about body image issues then took us on a path of behavior that often made us feel ultimately worse about ourselves.
Maybe we started going on a restricting weight loss diet to change our body or feel like we had more control with the food we eat. Maybe we started exercising and beating ourselves up when we missed a day.
Either way, we started judging ourselves and judging those around us.
We started making our lives smaller — both literally and figuratively — due to the thoughts we had about what a healthy weight looks like, which leads to feelings of shame. Then, we take part in punitive actions to correct the situation.
The important thing to remember is that this process started with the belief that something was wrong with us and our body.
What if we never had that belief in the first place? What if we had a more positive body image presented to us? What would our feelings and actions look like then?
You might not be able to go back and change the past, but it's not too late to change those beliefs now.
Science has proven that our brains have plasticity — that means they can change. So the belief that we are not worthy based on our size might be a well-worn path but we can create a new thought and carve a new and happier future.
The new thought would be that I am worthy regardless of my size or my appearance (or my house, job, friends, or marital status). This leads to feelings of contentment and freedom and joy.
Then the actions we take from this feeling of contentment will serve to strengthen and validate the feelings of worthiness because they will come from a place of truly caring about ourselves and not beating ourselves up and trying to change.
These actions might look like trying a new exercise class or making time to read a book more often. It might look like saying no to tasks you don't enjoy and saying "yes" to activities you might have thought of as frivolous or unnecessary before.
It might look like taking the time to cook for yourself more often but making sure you are cooking foods you like and not food the latest book or magazine said you should eat.
Then, as your contentment grows and you are taking part in activities you enjoy and the new neural pathways are deepening, the feelings of shame and fear will slowly fade away. These good feelings are independent of your size and shape.
This won't happen if we stay on a dieting path and keep trying to change the thing that was never wrong in the first place.
What thoughts and feelings make you want to change yourself? What new thoughts and beliefs would you like to have? How would life be different for you if you started your day with feelings of worthiness and not diet failure?
Make the shift towards a life without self-blame and criticism.
What new thoughts and beliefs are you going to start practicing today?
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Elizabeth Hall is a Certified Mind-Body Eating Coach, Body Trust® Provider, and Intuitive Eating facilitator.
This article was originally published at Elizabeth Hall Coaching Newsletter. Reprinted with permission from the author.