The Ties that Bind


The NEW D/s dynamic and its power to conquer your fears.

I read my first romance novel when I was 15 years old. I was on my way to see my older brother and his wife after the birth of their twin girls. I only bought the book b/c the lady next to me wouldn’t shut up about it and well, she just wouldn’t shut up at all. It was my first plane ride but I almost hoped the oxygen masks would drop from the overhead compartment. At least she’d have been muffled, right?
I’ve read 100’s of love stories and romance novels since then, ranging from Nicholas Sparks and Danielle Bourdon to Kristen Ashley, Shayla Black, and Anne Rice as A.N. Roquelaure. In these books, the stories speak about love and intimacy and are almost always going to involve sex scenes. As you can imagine, as many books as there are out on the market, the type of sex you will read will vary as well. What you will find are sweet and flowery lines as well as the more rugged portrayal of the many levels of the BDSM and D/s relationship. Sex and love come in all shades, not just 50 gray ones.

One thing that I have found is that society has been inundated with a prevalence of the most commonly understood definition of the term, ‘Dominant’. If you asked most people, they would probably say that the Dominant one in a sexual relationship is the one that exerts ultimate control and is the superior one. While this may absolutely be true in some D/s relationship dynamics (because each one is different), this leaves us to believe then that the other person, the submissive, in the relationship is weak and powerless at all times. That neither of the two can and should show traits of the other, because of some preconceived notion of, “What a Dom or sub should/would/could do”. I say that this is limiting to relationships and I have felt this way for a while. What I haven’t seen is an author that writes about this highly evolved D/s dynamic- until now.