Money disagreements & stress in your relationship often stem from how you are energetically wired.
What causes all the stress over money and spending habits in your relationship? It all starts with your relationship with money. There are a lot of reasons ranging from how you were raised, to beliefs you created as a result of early childhood experiences and how you feel about yourself.
However, there are more causes. Let's get to the energetic roots of the matter. What underlies all of these beliefs and experiences is your Divine Nature or Soul Essence. Here is a simplified version of how it works. Each one of us was born with a specific set of divinely given gifts, talents, and characteristics called your Soul Essence or Divine Nature.
Some people are designed and gifted to be great artists or inspirational teachers and speakers. Some people are gifted with an understanding of how things work and how to put things together to make them work. They make great engineers and inventors. Other people have special talents as care givers, doctors or accountants. We are all energetically wired to be a certain way and do certain things really well.
The time and place of our birth reinforce and refine these divine gifts. The essence of our personality serves to enhance and support our special talents. Layered on top of this core matrix that is the essence of each of us, are socially acceptable behaviors, religion, gender stereotyping and traditional male and female roles that have been in effect for centuries.
The icing on this energetic mix are the beliefs and attitudes we create as a result of our personal experiences. What this means is that each of us is a complex Divine Being composed of a specific set of energetic tendencies, gifts and talents that are either enhanced or suppressed by how we are raised.
The result is that some people are very gifted at creating wealth and abundance. They can do it in their sleep. For other people, wealth and material possessions have no significance. They like to serve others without thinking of what they need to survive. Since money has no meaning to them, they don't have a clue how it works in this world. And there are many variations in between.
To complicate matters, some of us have talents that society, our families and teachers have urged us to suppress. And others are pushed into jobs and work that they have not the slightest interest or talent for. But society or their families require them to do this work. In both cases, these people are unhappy and life is a struggle.
You may have experienced this with the doctor who doesn't seem to care or the manager who hates telling people what to do and would rather be doing the work. Then there is the therapist who does great healing but is struggling to make ends meet. An unseen variable to money woes that shows up quite often in readings, is vows of poverty and energetic blocks that carry over from other lifetimes. These vows put a damper on your financial abundance. You may have enough, but never seem to be able to get ahead. This unseen energetic block can wreak havoc with you and your partner because you are always struggling and you don't know why.
Each of us has a complicated relationship with money and often don't understand about our natural, divinely given gifts and talents all fit into our daily lives. Add to this two people joining into a relationship/partnership. Each person is uniquely designed and energetically wired to approach life situation in a certain manner. If the partners understand this about each other, then they can create a relationship built on mutual respect, appreciation and trust in each other. Instead of following traditional roles, they see each other as equals and build their relationship on the strengths and skills of each partner.
If it turns out that one is better at managing the finances or really enjoys doing it, then they can agree to both remain responsible and allow the one partner to handle the money. If neither are adept, then educating themselves about good money practices will help. It may be hard for the person who does not see the value of money, but it will really help the quality of their life and relationship.
Look at it as if you were a person with fragile health. You take extra precautions to keep yourself healthy. You make healthy choices with diet, get exercise, avoid binging and a lot of other things. The same applies to your financial health. Learn about how money works. Be extra watchful about your money.
Often, the partners in the relationship don't understand about themselves, their needs, their strengths or their energetic/Soul nature. They drop into traditional roles that may or may not fit who they are. They don't understand why their partner behaves the way he or she does and arguments start. One partner will try to control the other, get him or her to change. Another way this plays out is that one or both partners look to the other partner to satisfy their need for love, happiness, security and meeting their survival needs. This puts pressure to perform on them and rather than openly discussing what is on their minds, they hide behind the status quo, complaining to their friends about their partner or trying to manipulate him or her to take the pressure off.
The biggest step towards financial harmony with your partner is for you to acknowledge where you are and the truth about how you feel about money. To create a peaceful and satisfying relationship, it is important to acknowledge what you are good at and what you are not. Hiding and pretending cause the discord, the hard feelings and the sense of betrayal.
Turn money into your ally. As you recognize and appreciate what makes you unique, you can start to appreciate what makes your partner unigue, too. When you really start to know and understand who you are, you gain a new confidence and belief in yourself that allows you to have open and honest conversations with your partner. Part of the process includes recognizing and addressing unspoken resentments, judgments and attitudes that you have created about money and about your partner.
When you are on the same page about money, agree on similar goals and the way to get to them, tension leaves the relationship. As you see progress towards your goals, you start to feel united, connected and on top of the world. Suddenly, love blossoms again. Things are good. You thrive.
It all starts with getting to know who you are as a Divine Being, appreciating, integrating and living out your Soul's essence, your gifts and special talents. I'd love to bring this awareness to you and chat with you. Feel free to contact me for a short conversation about how I can best serve you.
More relationship coach advice from YourTango: