How NOT To Ruin Valentines Day This Year

chocolate heart and red roses
Love, Self

Avoid a Valentines Day disaster with these helpful hints.

Women can do their part to help make the day mutually rewarding. Be a worthy queen of your knight's adoration by:

1. Managing your expectations. All the hype swirling around Valentines Day can distort your perception. While it's fun and exciting looking forward to a day centered mostly on you, be careful not to view the occasion as the definitive indication of how loveable you are.

 The central theme here is the love your partner has for you not how loveable you feel yourself to be. If you're viewing his efforts to please you as a sign of your lovability, your ego is getting in the way and you're bound to be disappointed. You are loveable, period. No gift, no matter how grand can prove that to you. Believing you're loveable is a gift you give yourself.

2. Reciprocating: What men really want on Valentines Day. What men crave on Valentines Day (and in fact every day) is to feel genuinely appreciated. This means making absolutely clear you are happy with him and having him at the center of your life lights you up with joy. No gift says this as well as you can. It's reflected in the way you look and smile at him, in the way you want to please him and see him feeling good about himself in your presence. His loving you and you enthusiastically returning that love because you value and appreciate him is the greatest gift. Any material gift you offer only amplifies this truth.

3. Having gracious acceptance. Let's say the love of your life completely screws up. He disappoints across the board. What do you do? You practice gracious acceptance. No matter what gift you receive, no matter how disappointed you are, no matter how let down you feel and how much you may not like what you got, accept it graciously.

The last thing you want him to feel is "I can never please her." In fact, you want just the opposite, you want your partner to feel "I love making her happy." So, with gracious acceptance you manifest a happy, grateful response. And you can do this when you remember that it's about reciprocal love not material gifts.