Dear Dr. Romance: How Do I Find True Love?

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Dr. Romance helps a reader find out if they have a real relationship.

Dear Dr. Romance:

I am writing this letter to you because I really want to know how to find the 'right love' to last a lifetime? I am frustrated because I want understand how couples, especially married ones, find love to last a lifetime? I am in love with someone, but I don't know if that person feels the same way too, or if it's what you call 'true love.' But in some way or in somehow, I know she feels love for me as well. How do you love 'right'? Is there a proper way to love somone? God is all loving right ... must we follow that?

Dear Reader:

If you treat your partner with kindness and respect, and your partner treats you the same, you have a good chance of creating a lasting relationship. When problems arise, the most important thing to do is learn to listen. If you're not sure your partner loves you, then you are in danger of having a one-sided relationship. The best thing to do is ask, and then respect your partner enough to listen to the answer.

You can't wish or push someone into loving you. That's a decision she gets to make for herself. Slow down, back off, and see if she comes forward. Don't push, don't pressure her. If she cares, she should be able to let you know.

The following articles will help you sort out whether you have a real relationship: Couples Can Cooperate for Success; Getting to Yes; Guidelines for Being Understood by Your Partner; Letting Go Takes Love ; How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free will give you a cooperative model for relationships, which allows both of you to have what you want.

For low-cost counseling, find me at

This article was originally published at Dr. Romance Blog. Reprinted with permission from the author.