The Truth About Being A Working Mom Or Stay-At-Home Mom

mom and baby

What every stay-at-home mom should now about her life.

For years I have listened to and counseled the plight of both the working mom and the stay at home mom.  And for the past several months I have been myself dealing with similar plights of both types of moms.  It has dawned on me that I need to share these truths with all the moms. 

Because we all need to understand that we really are all in this together, just with a different vantage point.

Every morning when the working mom puts on her cute dress or pant suit and heels she is uncomfortable.  She is likely wearing Spanx under it all which are so tight it makes her feel like she can’t take the time to use the bathroom and worst of all those clothes remind her of how awful she feels about her body. Whether its 10 or 50 pounds, work clothes don’t let you escape the changes your body has been through since pregnancy and childbirth.

Stay at home moms often look at working moms wishing they had a reason to get dressed up, put on makeup and have grown up time.  But the truth is, most working moms would love to go through their day in cute yoga outfits, not have to put on makeup and throw up their hair.

Proof positive are weekends- most moms unite on Saturday afternoons with the same team uniform.

Leaving a crying child, gripping onto your leg, whether with a nanny or at a daycare simply sucks.  So while many stay at home moms may wonder where their career would have been and feel conflicted about their choices, working moms also wonder where their careers would be if they could just get to work sooner and stay later. 

Either way, many women’s private thoughts are about the what-if’s and then the guilt that follows which keep us all up some nights.

Working moms run late- a lot.  They are late getting to work and late to pick up the kids.  They are multitasking trying to complete a conference call while doing car line and rushing kids off to activities or home.  They envy the stay at home mom’s punctuality and ability to play after school and their more relaxed sense being. 

But I have news for you, the stay at home mom is usually multitasking too.  And she is juggling some things that working moms don’t want to juggle such as cooking dinner, carpooling, play dates, homework and cleaning.  It’s all a tradeoff.

Each group of moms have their own ways of handling their duties. And some days a stay at home mom wishes she was closing that deal or up for that promotion. 

So, if you witness any mom in one of her highs or lows know that it will pass.  It will likely pass quickly as the pace of life is fast for both camps.

Both types of moms or even hybrid moms keep a lot of these thoughts private.  Yes, they can joke about some of them, they can scratch the surface, but underneath that surface women in general are struggling. 

Depression is common in women.  My hope is that by talking about the seemingly outward differences in the different types of mothers we will all be will be united by the lesser known commonalities among all mothers.