Better Sex Through Better Connection?


2nd in a series of post designed to help busy couples get better sex. Read @

This is the 2nd post in a 5-part series designed to help regular-but-busy couples bring more frequent sex to their marriage.  Many of the couples that I work with in my counseling practice want to have sex more often, and for it to be more enjoyable.  If that's you, this series is a good place to start.  As with most things in life, if you do the basic stuff really well, the more complicated stuff often has a way of taking care of itself...
Everyone can increase their sexual connection by increasing their emotional connection.  If the sexual connection has waned, begin by evaluating the emotional connection.  Do you still enjoy each other?  Do you like to spend time together?  Do you consider each other's schedules, hobbies, and current interests?  If not, then you're probably not nearly as emotionally connected as you could be (and probably once were).  In the first post, i suggested that you touch each other more.  And in this post, I want to encouraging you to spend more time together doing something fun together that both of you once enjoyed.  Think back over the years, what did you previously enjoy doing together that you're no longer doing?  Might be going for a walk.  It might be going to a concert or a play.  It could be cooking a nice meal together.  It could be almost anything, but it probably won't be tiling a small bathroom together.  My grandmother and grandfather always enjoyed fly fishing together - and whether they came home with fish or not (they usually did), they always were grateful for their time together.
Do this: think back over your relationship and identify 3 activities you once enjoyed with your spouse.  Then, invite your partner to join you in one of them.  Make it special by prearranging child care and including a treat - like chocolate, ice cream, or flowers.  Once you start to spend more time together doing fun stuff, you'll feel more emotionally connected.  And once that happens... watch out.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.