Are You Having Sex For The Right Reasons?

make love
Love, Sex

Many people in relationships believe that the other person is responsible for his or her feelings, including taking care of sexual feelings. If you believe that it is your partner's duty to take care of your sexual needs, this can create a problem in relationships.

Sex that comes from duty rather than love is not satisfying. When one partner complies and performs his or her duty, the relationship may gradually erode to the point of falling apart. No one likes to feel used, especially sexually, so it is never advisable to have sex out of duty or to expect your partner to have sex out of duty. 3 Ways To Squeeze In More Sex

Some people have a deep need to be held, a need for mothering. Sometimes people sexualize this need and have sex in an effort to meet this need. This never works, as the inner child needs mothering, not sex. In fact, the inner child may feel violated when the wounded self uses sex to gain affection.

Sex may temporarily take away feelings of stress, anxiety, loneliness and aloneness, but it is very temporary. Just as you will not feel loved if you use food, drugs, or alcohol to avoid responsibility for your feelings, neither will you feel loved when you use sex addictively.

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Healthy sexuality comes from love and intimacy between two people. People who love each other do not want the other person to have sex when it is not what he or she wants to do. People who are taking responsibility for their own feelings have sex for the joy and pleasure of expressing their love for each other.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.