Separated or Divorced: The Easy Road?


Many consider separation and divorce the easy road compared to marriage. This isn't always the case.

Have you ever heard someone say that instead of working things out a couple is taking the easy road by deciding to separate and divorce?  I have and all I can say to those ignorant people is “Seriously?  You have no idea what it takes to get divorced.”

Making the decision that a relationship in which you’ve invested YEARS of your life is better off ending than continuing is FAR from easy.  In fact, it’s usually gut wrenching.  Although there are the extremely rare people who enter into a marriage with the intent that it end with divorce, the rest of us jump into marriage with both feet, a sense of commitment and a willingness to make things work whatever that takes.  And did I mention we usually spend YEARS trying to make things work before we ever think of separation or divorce.  I certainly don’t see how any sane person can look at a couple who’s divorcing and say they’re taking the easy road.

Reaching the decision to separate and divorce is hard.  It was one of the most difficult decisions I ever made not only in the moment the decision was made, but in the fall-out of that decision.  EVERYTHING changed in that moment.  Not all the changes were for the better – at least not in the short-term.  I came face-to-face with some hard truths about me and how I was living my life.  It wasn’t all pretty and took a whole lot of really hard work to get me straightened out.  BUT I am a much healthier and happier person now. 

The road I’ve taken since my separation and divorce hasn’t been easy, but it has felt much more alive and real than the road I was on in my first marriage.

You can find out more about my work around divorce at  While you're there, be sure and get the special report: The 5 Things You Must Know About Your Divorce.

This article was originally published at The Funcational Divorce . Reprinted with permission from the author.