Pregnant and fighting? Here’s what to do:


Are you and your partner expecting for the first time and you can’t seem to get along?

Does he blame it on the hormones and does it drive you crazy?

Let’s face it, having a baby can be exciting and joyous, but is also quite stressful.

If tension is running high in your home and you are pregnant and fighting, here’s what to do:

Get a grip on your relationship

If you don’t, things are going to get a whole lot worse.

Having a baby is no joke.  Your entire world is about to be turned upside down.  This may the best thing that’s happened to either of you, but the even so, it’s probably going to be really hard!

You probably know this and that may be why you’re so stressed out.  You may be feeling on edge with each other now because stakes are higher than ever:  You’re about to bring a human into the world. Your new job, not to be taken lightly, is to keep that human alive.

Sadly, big events like engagements, marriages and babies can bring out the worst in couples.

Do you ever wonder why that is?

These events are milestones and often signify a deepened level of commitment.

They mean you should be that much closer to your partner, you should rely on them that much more…

…and you’ll be that much more hurt if something goes wrong.

Even though these big events are joyous and are reason to celebrate, they can be super scary to many of us.  Sometimes we don’t even realize it.  That fear can manifest as anything to mild irritation to downright hostility and rage.

Add to this fear the sleepless nights, the emotional roller coaster of living with an infant, the countless ways you will both mess up (everyone does), and you have a recipe for disaster if your connection with each other isn’t strong.

So I will repeat myself here:

Get a grip on your relationship.

Take a deep breath and talk to your partner about how you are stressed about this time bomb that’s about to go off, and how you want to make sure that your relationship can offer you both a shelter from the trauma of being new parents.

In moments of distress, try not to snap at each other.

When you do snap at each other, try not to take it personally (ha!  easier said than done).  Recognize that you are both stressed out for valid reasons and and are on edge.

Commit to being a team and to taking extra special care of your relationship right now.

In the spirit of the CTFD Parenting Technique, take a deep breath about everything you need to do for your kid.  Regardless of whatever trend there is around feeding, sleeping, or the best thing for your kid’s brain, the best thing you can do for them (after loving them, of course, but that part should be surprisingly easy), is to have a great relationship with your partner.

If you’re getting your needs met in your adult relationship, you’ll have a much easier time meeting those of your child’s.  In so doing, you will be implicitly setting up your kid for a lifetime of healthy relationships.

What’s better than that?

Good luck — and congrats =)

Cheers to your best relationship,


This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.