Are You His Lover Or His Mother? Part 2

Are You His Lover Or His Mother? Part 2
Love, Self

Try the apron test to find out.

In Part 1 of the series we talked about how your communication style may sound like a Mother. Now it’s time to take a look at the Lovers communication style.

The Lover Attitude And Communication Style

Men fall in love with a woman’s femininity, vulnerability and they know they can trust that woman with their deepest feelings. Part of the glue that keeps couples strong everlasting is that haven for peace and safety where each one of you want to be closer knowing that no one is going anywhere and that no one is judging.
Lovers have a very different attitude than Mothers.

They know how to shift from their powerhouse masculine energy that is needed in so many places outside of their couple to the softer feminine side that men need to feel safe and vulnerable enough to open up completely. The Lover Communication Style belongs to the empowered woman who expresses herself with confidence, femininity, poise and lack of judgment. She understands in the words of Alison Armstrong that “men are not hairy women.”

My 4A’s of Communication-Solution is the foundation for creating that safe haven of trust and open communication. When you have that all of your communication will improve.

1.    Attitude
A woman in her Lover Attitude is fully present and feels safe, vulnerable, confident, happy, feisty, fun, flirty and sexy. So how do you get there? As an example, let’ say you’re coming home after work to a houseful of activities and family obligations.
Whether you work from home or outside, you’ll first want to detach from your business. Check in with your attitude and mindset.Are you still feeling corporate and professional, mulling over your busy day. Are you feeling like a Lover? If not, then take a few moments and do whatever it takes to step into that attitude.

Do you need to:

  •     listen to your favorite music in the car?
  •     kick off your heels and close your eyes for a few long minutes?
  •     do something physical like take a walk, change clothes?
  •     Meditate?

Do whatever you need to detach from your day and shift into your Lover Attitude of presence, openness, receptivity, lightness and lack of judgment.

2.    Appreciation And Acknowledgement

Women naturally toss compliments back and we love hearing compliments from our men. Yet, men tell me all the time how vastly under appreciated by women they feel. They want to make us feel happier and want to know how to do that. How often do we compliment our men? When people don’t hear appreciation, after awhile they begin to feel as if they are being taken for granted.

Acknowledgement is about noticing and mentioning the effort and attention he took to please you. It may sound funny, cheesy or unnatural in the beginning but most men will love it when you use your flirty, fun loving feminine side and say things like this. When you notice and acknowledge what people do to make you happy you are energetically lining yourself up for receiving more happiness. It’s the Law Of Attraction.

You don’t have to be all unnaturally cutesy-girly-gushy and sugar-coated-sweet about it, just be feminine, sincere, natural and add a bit of playfulness, too. I’m sure you’ll find your own fun variations on this, too, like hidden notes, a special insider’s wink or gesture that conveys the message. You get the idea.

       “I love it when you help me with dinner. I don’t take it for granted when you do the  dishes and clean up.”
      “I really appreciate that you took the time to help me with putting up my curtains. I could have never done it myself.” (even if we know that you could have.)
      “You planned such a marvelous date! The concert was amazing and restaurant you picked was fantastic. You really know what I like!”

And when you really want to take it to the top, compliment him in front of other people.

3.    Actions
Show how much you appreciate him with your actions. This is where it gets fun, sassy and playful! Sadly a lot of people have simply forgotten how to have fun and romp with their significant other. You know your guy and what makes him tick. It could be planning a special dinner, a date, a surprise weekend, or more simply, a neck or foot rub. How about bringing back desire in a new way? Try the apron test. Mothers wear aprons. Lovers wear only an apron. Be daring, romantic, surprising and bodacious! I could give you a long list of suggestions, but I trust you have loads of original ideas to get your sexy on in more ways, places and activities than one. Or you could just go the simple route and ask him what you could just do for him that would make him really happy. Keep your eyes and ears open for collecting data on what makes him really happy.

You get the picture, it’s all about the 4 A’s - your attitude, acknowledging and appreciating him with your words and your actions.

If you think you sound a bit too much like a mother or spend too much time in "The People Pleaser Syndrome," then hop on over to my online Compatibility Index. In less than 60 minutes I’ll pinpoint exactly where that kind of talk is coming from and what needs to happen to shift from the nagging Mother communication style into your Lover Attitude so you feel confident, loving and authentic expressing yourself without ever feeling guilty again.


This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.