Realizing that your spouse was sexually abused as a child


When a person had been sexually abused as a child, then gets married they take the past with them.

Many times the scenario will be a heightened sex drive before the marriage and then possibly not wanting intimacy at all after marriage or they may have a difficult time getting emotionally close while love making. This can be very confusing for the individual that was abused and the spouse, leaving the partners frustrated and ultimately upset over the situation.

Both men and women

Both men and women can be the victim of sexual abuse as a child and the impact on the mind, body and spirit can create havoc in a relationship.

There are many people who have been abused but have taken the necessary steps to go to counseling, sex therapist or sex surrogate to work through the trauma and better understand their bodies. Seeing the right professional can help to heal the trauma and create a more successful relationship.

Muscle memory

In both men and women trauma of any kind from abuse can get stored in muscle memory in the body, this can result in men not being able to maintain an erection, or a women’s vagina muscles tightening up and making sex painful. The muscle memory of the abuse can happen to any part of the body that was violated. In men if they were violated through penetration that part of the body can have painful muscle memory as well?

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This article was originally published at Marriage Sexual Counseling. Reprinted with permission from the author.