Parents’ divorce linked to your fading passion - Guest Blog

Love, Heartbreak

The effects of divorce on kids, and your sex life.

There’s no one reason couples get divorced, but unfortunately there are multiple effects.

Aside from the psychological and emotional stress divorce can inflict on the couple, alone, it can also deliver a huge blow to children in the family. A new study by UK’s Economic and Social Research Council found that children of divorced parents were more likely to develop social and psychological problems as adults than those whose parents stayed married. The study also reported that children with a stable family life were less likely to suffer from certain health problems like asthma and obesity.

The study is hardly groundbreaking information, but it does shine a light on the extensive damage divorce can inflict on multiple generations of people. With about 50% of American marriages ending in divorce today, it begs the question: Why are so many couples splitting up?

While many reasons can be cited for the cause of a divorce, most experts agree that there is rarely ever one singular reason behind a couple breaking up. Rather, it’s usually a snowball effect that can sometimes begin simply with a loss of intimacy and closeness.

“There are countless reasons why couples struggle,” says licensed marriage counselor and author of The Breakup Bible, Rachel Sussman. “That being the case, even when all else is good in a long-term couple, if you are not working to keep the sex, passion and romance alive, problems with intimacy can ignite."

And this problem is more prevalent than you might think. According to an infographic created by e-commerce business Déjàmor, 75% of couples say they have less sex after having children. And yet 72% reported in the same survey that they wish they had more sex. So, what’s the problem, and how do we fix it?

“Maintaining a long-term relationship can be challenging and fun, but usually involves stepping out of the ‘comfort zone’ and into unknown territory,” says certified sexologist and relationship coach Annette Gates.

And, Gates says, it’s much more than just having sex.

“Couples need to create the space for practicing communication and passion with the end goal of reconnecting again.”

Her best advice to do this is simple: “Leave your[self] and your partner eager with anticipation for each other.”


About the Author:

Foram Mehta is the Blog Editor at Déjàmor, a startup focused on helping couples keep their long-term relationships fresh and intimate by offering a subscription-based service for ‘romantic experiences.’ Every month, member couples receive a mystery box filled with products and a guide to help them create an intimate experience together.