So you think men only want “one thing,” do you? Not so fast...

Love, Sex

I can now PROVE that men actually DON’T just want you for sex

It’s been said that if you tell a lie often enough and long enough, it will eventually become accepted as fact. That’s why I want to let you know there’s a dirty little secret out there that dishonors both the good men that get smeared with it every day – and the women who spread this not-so-true belief without even challenging it. The secret I’m talking about is the widely-held and oft-repeated belief that men only want “one thing” out of women. Obviously, the one thing I’m talking about is sex...and I’m here to tell you that belief may, in fact, be grossly exaggerated by well-meaning but unfairly-biased women. After all, it’s not the men who created or perpetuated the story...and in most cases, the men THEMSELVES don’t even challenge it any more.

What if it’s not true?

I want to share a story with you to prove my point about this exaggerated belief. As a Relationship Coach, I work with a lot of women on helping them to end their struggles in the area of relationships and my clients have enjoyed a great deal of life-changing success. Specifically, I help them examine some of their own sabotaging, limiting beliefs while at the same time, helping them to understand and appreciate men in order to bring out the best in them – rather than suffering through the worst from them. The story I want to share comes to you courtesy of one of my superstar clients-in-the-making who came to me after a particularly devastating breakup. I’m really delighted to say that she’s done a lot of healing work and is now on her way back.

Here’s the story

Recently, my client met a guy she found intriguing at a social event. She used the information I taught her and in no time, this man was pursuing her at the party. Since she’s only just begun to open to the idea of a relationship again, she was enjoying the attention and the new-found confidence that comes along with success. She was doing all the right things to intrigue him and stimulate interest...and it was working very well. In fact, it caused him to “up the ante” and try to get her into bed after just having met her. Now I know this sounds contrary to my premise but hang on for a minute...

If you want a different result, you can’t do the same old thing

In response to his advances, my client turned the tables on this man so hard and so fast that even I was taken aback. She claims she was inspired by what I teach but I have to be honest...I never actually taught her what she did next. She turned to him and essentially said, “We can either date and not have sex tonight or we can have sex tonight and not date. Pick one." Her confident swagger and playfulness totally shifted the dynamic and had his FULL attention. Now, as an aside, she confided in me that she wasn't going to sleep with him that night anyway, but went for the big impact statement...just to see what he’d say. So guess what? He immediately opted for the date...which totally proves my point.

Here’s what really happened here

Now that she’s taken some time to heal and we have worked on repairing her wounded self-esteem, she had the confidence to pull off something she NEVER could have done  when her sense of self relied on the good opinions of the men in her life. That’s because I’ve helped her to stop outsourcing the job of knowing her value to some man. Here’s the truth: Any time your value is being propped up by the approval of others, you run the risk of having it pulled right out from under you like a cheap rug. Then the next thing you know, you’re flat on your face, bruised and battered, wondering what the hell happened...

But what about the guy?

So why do you think the guy in this story didn’t just go for the easy “option B” and try to get her into bed that night? Why didn’t he just try to “hit it and quit it?” After all, don’t ALL men just want “one thing?” Well, maybe they do...but as our man in this scenario just proved...that one thing isn’t just sex. It’s clear by his actions that what he valued even more than just sex was the company of a self-empowered, radiant, sparkling, feminine, playful, positive, sensual woman who could intrigue him...captivate him...and entertain him. Coincidentally, those are the exact same traits that will keep him...and make her a “keeper,” too. (For the client didn’t always “know” she had it in her...and I can assure you that you have it in YOU also).

Hold on, it gets better...

There’s one other really cool aspect to this story. I already told you that my client’s actions have this man in hot pursuit to get to know her even better. Despite the fact that this man has been totally transparent about his intentions...he has also been a complete gentlemen. That’s because my client has shown up as a lady with class, dignity and high standards...mixed in with a little bit of playfulness...just to keep things interesting. And he’s totally hooked in the pursuit...

Post Script

By the way, she shared one other tidbit with me when she shared the story by email. Here’s a direct quote from the man himself via text: “Thank your life coach for me. That whole sex tonight or not option was well played.” While I appreciate the acknowledgement, the truth is most of the credit goes to the beautiful and newly confident woman who stepped up in place of the wounded lady I first met when she was referred. Now you know why I absolutely love my job. If you’re ready to learn how to attract, captivate and keep an incredible man, I invite you to reach out to me for a free chat. You can absolutely have what you say what you want...if you’re open to learning a better way...