Change Is Hard To Do. Is Your Relationship Worth The Sacrifice?

arguing couple

Being in a relationship requires change, but that doesn't mean it is easy.

Being in a relationship causes you to reevaluate the things that you are willing to compromise on or what you will sacrifice for the relationship. Many believe that they will only have to go through this process once, at the very beginning of their relationship, and that they and their partner will remain relatively stable from then on. Unfortunately, this is not true; relationships are constantly evolving, and partners need to remain malleable in an effort to keep the relationship going. Also, many topics that are of extreme importance are not relevant until later in the relationship. Examples of this are finances, career paths and children.

When entering into a relationship, decide what are the non-negotiable qualities that you refuse to sacrifice (for example, your religion), and find a partner who meets those criteria from the start. Also, decide the things you are willing to compromise on (i.e. where you will live), and those things that you are willing to sacrifice (number of children). If you are unclear on what items you are flexible on and those that you will not forgo, you may be entering into a relationship that is doomed from the beginning. Because, as we all know, change is hard to do. The things that are of extreme importance to you now will likely remain extremely important throughout your life, and the same may be said for your partner.

If you are realizing late in your relationship that your partner or yourself are in conflict about unwillingness to change, it is not too late for your relationship. Although easiest solved through pre-marital therapy, a skilled couple’s therapist can help your relationship survive what seems to be an irreparable rift.

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This article was originally published at philadelphiamft.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.