How To Be Happy With Yourself: 4 Tips To Pacify The Perfectionist

Love, Heartbreak

It's time to revamp your to-do list, reduce the pressure, and learn how to be happy with yourself.

Let’s talk about life nowadays. It’s crazy, isn’t it? We all have to-do lists a mile long and we are constantly being pulled in different directions by our careers, spouses, children, and other responsibilities. What’s the result? - a world full of tightly-wound, super-efficient, multitasking mamas. That’s fine for a while, but over time the stress builds on us. Our efficiency and heroics become less important as our health declines, our relationships suffer, and our mindset becomes downright depressing. We know we should slow down. We know we need to let go and relax. We know we should enjoy life. Yet, what do we do? We plan elaborate birthday parties with Martha Stewart centerpieces and Paula Deen menus. We clean the house from top to bottom whenever company is coming. We volunteer to be the snack mom for Billy’s soccer games. We get all of the perfect gifts for each and every member of our family for all of the holidays. We make sure that the projects we turn in at work are absolutely out of this world - we read them, and reread them. We correct them, and correct the corrections. And on top of all that, we get up each and every morning and primp and paint ourselves to look our absolute best. When you think about it, part of the reason we become overwhelmed and depressed is because we feel like we are constantly moving - constantly doing, but we rarely feel like we are accomplishing anything we want to do. We’re doing a lot, but it’s not meaningful. So, today, I present you with 4 masterful tips to pacify your inner-perfectionist and figure out how to be happy with yourself.

Know what is important to you and invest your resources wisely. Take a look at how you are spending your time each day. Which tasks are you doing because you should do them, versus because you could do them? Do whatever you can to reduce the size of the should-do-list. Delegate, skip tasks, cut corners. Then, add items to your list that you want to do be doing. These are the tasks that you should spend your time and energy on. 

Lower the bar. I hate to break it to you, but the expectations by which you live are yours - and no one else’s. Make your expectations realistic. Yes, you probably should feed your family. No, they are not going to become unhealthy and overweight by eating takeout a few times a week. And if you feel that anyone expects you to do anything a certain way - call them out on it. Ask them! You’ll be amazed by how many of those expectations do not really exist.

Forget the rules! There is no right or wrong way to do anything. That’s right, I said it. There are many ways to do each task and each way has its pros and cons. There is one way to wash the dishes so they come out the cleanest. There is another way to wash the dishes in as little time as possible. There is another way to wash the dishes to use the least amount of water. Point is, pick whichever way benefits you in that moment. You don’t always have to choose the same way. This concept also helps you delegate more. Have faith that whatever task you give to your hubby or children will get done - one way or another.

Stop trying to impress people. Whether you want to hear it or not, people are not expecting you to impress them. In fact, most people don’t even notice the efforts you put forth. Why? Because they are lost in their own world, worrying about their own to-do list and focusing on their own challenges. And... if they do notice, chances are they are not going to be thrilled that you impressed them. Why? Because once you set the bar so high, they compare themselves to you, and they start to feel bad about themselves. We need to break the cycle! Allow yourself to be who you are without trying to get everything just right - and you’ll allow others the freedom to do the same. 

Here’s the bottom line - we are each much more than the work we do and how well we do it. Being happy with yourself involves knowing exactly who you are and what you stand for, and expressing yourself in alignment with that. If you are doing anything outside of that, you will not be happy with yourself, no matter how good of a job you do.

Ok, so you may be reading this thinking that it makes sense, BUT you know you can’t let go of the reigns. If that’s so, ask yourself: “What does it say about me if I lower my standards? What am I really afraid of?”. When you get to the root of those questions and conquer the underlying fears, you will be a free woman! And, if that’s too much to tackle on your own, I invite you to contact me for a FREE private session to help you learn how to be happy with yourself.