I’m A New Person Now — Free From My Sex Addiction

Heartbreak, Sex

"I am not my mind or my thoughts. I am my essence, the part of me that was always true."

When you break free from porn addiction or sex addiction, you can transform your life. One of our clients writes about the new possibilities his life now holds … 

This is my journey of a new life as a new person. 

None of this could have been seen, felt or heard if I hadn’t hit the lowest point in my life. Unfortunately, that’s what it took for me to start this journey.


My childhood and history brought me to a low point. But now who I thought I was, my life and my history has dissolved. I am on a new path, a new journey, to become my essence. To become truthful, honest, intimate and honorable — not only to myself but to my bride-to-be and our wonderful family. The way I look at life now is seen through the eyes of my essence, heard from my true conscious self. It is felt through the present moment of my heart.

I wish I would've or could've taken a better path. I wish I'd been shown a better way when I was younger. But now I know where I am and where I am going. This journey is leading me to a better life that I want to share with my bride and our family. I have learned many things about who I was as a person and a lover.

I was operating from my teenage mind — foolish, immature, lying, wasting my life and ruining the best relationship I ever had. I didn’t know how to be true, honest, loyal or faithful to my partner. My childhood and my past led me to the situation I put us in. But I see now that I didn’t understand the difference between conscious and unconscious.


If only I had known about my sub-personalities. If only I had understood that I wasn’t my mind. If only I had known what was really true. Now I know what was really going on, who I was, how oblivious to life and the people suffering around me I became. It was because of the way I was wasting my life.

I am the one who feels the shame, blame, guilt, betrayal and pain from my actions. Now that I know and see through my essence who that person was, I can take responsibility for everything.

I put all those negative actions and feelings onto the love of my life. Onto the person who was so innocent and didn’t do anything at all to deserve any of this. She didn’t even see it coming.

It was a huge destruction to her feelings about our relationship and me. I can’t blame her one bit for having all these bad and negative thoughts about me. How could she trust me after all of this? I put myself in her shoes for moments during my days and I don’t know if I would be strong enough to deal with all the thoughts and feelings she now carries from day to day. These are things that can never be forgotten. Only I can make this negative situation, positive.

Things that I know now can prepare me for the future and help me live and share my new life with my intimate partner. She is the most beautiful, strong, sexy, warm and kindhearted woman I have ever met and loved. She truly is one of a kind and I am very blessed to have her in my heart and in my life. I'm so grateful that she still has love and room for me in her heart.

I've gained knowledge and learned words that never would have meant anything to me before — sub-personality, presence, being, conscious, unconscious, essence, control, power, dialogue — all words that I never would have understood. I now see that life is what I make it, not what my childhood or unconscious sub-personality gives me. I am better than that. I am separated from that.

I am not my mind or my thoughts. I am my essence, the part of me that was always true. I just needed to find it. My sub-personalities, my unconsciousness and my mind tricked me into thinking that the negative thoughts that came to my mind were who I was and that was my life. But I am more than my thoughts. I am a person who is connected with my feelings and myself, but my thoughts are not me. 

I do what is right, honest and true. I am positive and continue to be through negative situations. Two wrongs don’t make a right, just like two negatives don’t make a positive. I need to be and stay positive for my relationship, my family, and myself. When my lover is negative, I need to help her find positivity and share that moment — to shift with my bride.

By being positive I create good energy within myself. That helps me see the joy and the true meaning of life. Love and intimacy. I can for once say honestly that I am a true and loyal lover to my beloved. My life at this moment is complete. I have everything in life that I want and need.

Having all these feelings and being fully immersed in these true moments has changed me like I never could've imagined. I feel more intelligent, wiser. I am prepared and ready to start living my life with my new self and really connecting and becoming closer to the love of my life. For once, I am ready to be a mature, adult father and show my children the true way of life.

I don’t want my kids to take the same path I took. I want to show them the right way and be with them every through every step  — to help them stand up, get up, keep going, not give up, to do the right things, be honest and respectful. I want to show them real love and how to treat people with kindness.

I now understand that everyone has a meaning in life, but it's up to each of us to feel the meaning of our own life. To take life in and feel positive energy. It is possible now to respond to life from what is true — rather than from the old stories my mind has told over and over.

George Collins, Founder of Compulsion Solutions has spent the last 30 years helping porn/sex addicts to reclaim their lives, self-esteem and relationships. His books are Amazon's #1 Bestsellers in the industry. Click here to get 1-on-1 help from George, or simply get the first chapter of his book, free.

This article was originally published at compulsionsolutions.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.