Codependent? 7 Step Reality Check Process


Do you have a codependent mindset sabotaging your dream before it can root itself and become real?

Manifestation continues to make headlines as stars like Jim Carrey, Oprah Winfrey and Ellen DeGeneres tout manifestation techniques as part of their career strategy.

If you want the life of your dreams, say the gurus, keep picturing that new job or that perfect soul mate or new home will amazingly come to be, it must come to be.  It is Universal Law. 

With all that soul mate manifesting effort going on out there, did you ever notice how many people manifest more disaster, drama and trauma than they do true love? So what’s up? 

Did you see the Codependence Quiz? It looks like I struck a nerve.  One Facebook Fan asked:  “I see I am codependent, does that mean I am destined to attract the wrong people?”  Can you relate to that feeling?

Ever feel like you are doing all you can but all that manifests is the opposite of what you want?  Repeating patterns of codependent thinking always get you the same results.  Frustration and disappointment.

In my nearly 25 years of teaching seminars, working with clients, studying Universal Law and observing the lives of the people who are true manifesters walking the walk they talk, I see that most soul mate manifester wannabes are missing a critical element.

I have really good news for you.  I can help.  Many years ago, Spirit began showing me the patterns of human behavior in story form.  In song or story, it didn’t matter.  People are moved by the world I create to explain the unexplainable.  My best selling book, The Map: Finding The Magic and Meaning in the Story of Your Life points the way to all I have learned in the thousands of readings I have done.

If you are in a dry place with no sign of growth and expansion, it is Spirit's way of telling you to course correct. You want to be married, have a great career, write that book or find real happiness. In fact, you tell me that all the time how hard you are working at it.

What you don't have is a clear starting point.  The first step of any mapped out journey is where you are right now.  Ask yourself this key question: "Am I 100% at peace with my life as it is right now?" Can you let go of all focus on what you want for a minute and just be.

If something is not showing up for you.  Nothing is wrong. At some level you are fighting against what is and until you face your place,  you are doomed to an unending holding pattern.

Full attention on where you are NOW is always the true north star. Present time awareness is where you have access to the conscious creative choices that make for right decisions.

Your clues are in the people and circumstances that are “holding you back” or “frustrating you.”  Why? It is so easy to look at someone else and blame them for your bad fortune. When other people distract you, you are no longer present, right?

If you wish you were less codependent,  that tells me something important about you.  It tells me that you are on your path.  You are asking yourself the deeper questions as you seek to know yourself and your place in the world.  You are on to your self sabotage and you are committed to living in the NOW.

With your Map in hand and the commitment to use your spiritual tools, you can come out of the codependent closet and manifest the life you want by choosing to wake up to your inner, conscious connection with the Divine.

Here’s a 7 Step Reality Check Process for Codependent Moments to help you embrace your codependency, come out of the closet and kick your manifesting into gear:

1.    Think about a change you want to manifest in your life.  What is not showing up? Write down a detailed description of what your life looks like without this thing/change/circumstance.  Be completely honest with yourself.  This separates the wimps from the true travelers. You will never get traction if you don’t fully be where you be. 

2.    Write a detailed description of what your life will look like with the manifested change fully delivered.  Don’t spare a detail.  Use your imagination and dress up your heart’s desire with a richly written paragraph or two. This is the time to make your high school creative writing teacher proud.

3.    What will you be doing then that you are not doing now?  How specifically will your life experience look and feel different? How will you feel about yourself when you have that loving relationship? How would someone know your life was different by watching you?  Who would you be if you already had the means to pursue your dreams?

4.    Now, compare the two descriptions. Use two different colored highlighters and make some notes and observations for yourself.  What are the thoughts and ideas that fit in both worlds right now?  Use your notes to tell a third story.

5.    Set your intention to bring your current thoughts, feelings, and beliefs into harmony with your highest vision of you from this exercise.  When in your life do you feel these exact feelings right now? Sure it feels awesome to manifest a long held dream, but that good feeling fades and you will be manifesting for something new.

6.    Write a third description that fully describes your feelings and emotions in your future reality.  Your emotions and feelings are the pathway to Remember Your Future.  When you get to the place you have determined is at the end of your map, it will always feel familiar.

Remember, it takes dedication and practice to continually capture your rascal thoughts and keep yourself in NOW thinking, but you can do it one choice at a time. 

7.      Test it out.  Close your eyes right now and pretend you have just met someone who is bringing your next opportunity to you. Act as if this were true—even if you’re not yet coherent with this idea.  The next time that problematic person upsets your peace, close your eyes and come back to this same place.

The more you feel your way into your heart’s desire the more your subconscious naturally guides you to hear from Spirit...your reliable and constant guide.

Ever wondered if YOU could be a Master Intuitive Coach helping people conquer their codependency?  Do you want to use the Map to coach your clients?  For the latest information about the Master Intuitive Coach® Institute- an integrative coaching system that offers students a unique and satisfying holistic experience helping others achieve their dreams while creating their own, click here: