What 'RHOA' Star Porsha Stewart's Divorce Can Teach Us

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Reality show star or not, there are three things you can do to avoid getting divorced.

What do you want and need from him? What does he want and need from you? What makes him feel most like the man he wants to feel like in your relationship? What makes you feel most like the woman you want to feel like in your relationship? What do you want your individual roles to be comprised of? Are you happy and willing to give each other what you each want and need from each other so you are both fulfilled within the relationship? You need to know what such things look like and discuss them clearly in order to best answer those questions.

The bottom line is that we often refrain from asking the tough questions as our relationships develop for fear that we'll lose them. However, the only way to set your relationship up for true success is to ask and clarify your positions. Don't get caught up in what other people think or do in their relationships either. They can have their opinions, but what matters most is your happiness, and we all have different requirements.

Use what you've envisioned along with what you've learned in your past relationships as a blueprint for designing the relationship you know you want. I show you exactly how to do so in my book Thank Goodness You Dumped His Ass. Design the relationship you know will fulfill you, and use it as a compass. Then define the relationships you're emotionally investing in to be sure that all expectations and parameters are spoken, understood and agreed upon as best you can. Cheers to your best relationship ever!