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Attract people by following a few 'cool' rules.
By Christian Carter
Last updated on Apr 22, 2024
Everyone wants to be liked and accepted by other people — it's part of what makes us human, after all. But we may find that there are certain "cool" people who are able to attract anyone they want into their lives.
Being cool is more than just a mindset; it's truly a way of life. It means being authentic in all the best ways, and though it's subjective, you'll find that once you understand how to be cool, you'll be attractive to other people as well.
Here are 12 tiny tricks for how to be cool and attract people
1. Don't exaggerate
People aren't going to be attracted to individuals who magnify issues and act like it's the end of the world when they are confronted with an inconvenience. A cool person doesn't make a mountain out of a molehill, so to speak, choosing instead to keep their calm.
When you exaggerate, even if it's as a joke or in a playful way, you cause a disconnection between yourself and the person you want around. Instead, stick to genuine conversation and let your actions speak for themselves.
2. Think before you speak
By saying everything you're feeling and experiencing, you leave room for conflicts or misunderstandings. You may also say things you didn't mean to, which can drive people further away from you and lessen the attraction they feel towards you.
Taking the time to pause, reflect, and think before you open your mouth shows respect for the way others feel and think. Demonstrating emotional intelligence in this way is incredibly attractive to people, though! So make it a point to choose your words carefully.
3. Let go of the past
By mentioning bad situations, issues, or problems from the past, you're showing others that you're still tethered to a time that should be no more. That's especially important if it's something you're mentioning when first getting to know someone.
Cool people, on the other hand, fully embrace the present and future, and look back on the past to reminisce. They find the right time to bring up sore subjects, and it's certainly not at the beginning stages. To be cool, make an effort to embrace change and growth, and practice forgiving yourself.
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4. Treat others with respect
Just like your mother told you, treat others the way you'd want to be treated. Part of being a cool person means refraining from judgment, not forcing others (especially the person you're romantically interested in) to talk about their feelings, and always being compassionate.
When you pressure someone to open up too soon, it will indeed backfire. The other person might think you're being needy, and they will close themselves off. Instead, a cool person will let others make up their own mind. After all, respect is essential for any good relationship to flourish!
5. Don't complain
Rather than making their discomfort everyone's problem, a cool person doesn't complain or talk about things for too long when they aren't other people's responsibility or are impossible for anyone to solve given the current situation. Being cool involves maintaining a positive attitude.
By frequently complaining, you create a less-than-ideal atmosphere that can put people off. Cool people make it a point to keep the conversation light and positive, looking instead to silver linings. And that is, ultimately, an incredibly attractive trait.
6. Focus on keeping the vibe fun
People who know how to be cool bring funny, positive thoughts and feelings to situations, creating an experience others want to have again and again. They know how to keep things light-hearted and, as such, are incredibly magnetic.
They bring humor, creativity, and inclusivity everywhere they go, putting the ability to connect with others before everything else. Because, in the end, being cool is all about creating uplifting environments for yourself and those around you.
7. Go with the flow
Cool people are willing to go with the flow in social situations, but are still sure to make assertions when they have opinions and ideas. Even though they are assertive, these individuals easily navigate anything life throws their way, embracing uncertainty with an open mind.
No matter what hurdles they must overcome, cool people are resilient, and intend to spread that mindset to anyone they come across.
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8. Stay in charge of your own happiness
In order to attract people while staying cool, you must live in a place of inner peace. That means staying in control of your happiness, and finding true joy and fulfillment from within, rather than seeking approval and validation from outside sources.
By doing things that make you happy, you are embracing the epitome of cool. Because although some may say the opposite, it's appealing to prioritize self-care.
9. Be confident
There's no denying that confidence is incredibly attractive to others — even studies have found this to be true. And being confident in yourself is a glaring sign of coolness, as it involves exuding assertiveness, individuality, and self-compassion.
When you are confident, you are showing others that you truly believe in yourself. No matter what difficulties you have to overcome, because you know how to be cool by being so assured, you use these plights as a learning experience and opportunity for growth.
10. Keep an uplifting attitude
Cool people know that the way they feel and talk about themselves is how others will also feel about them. They make sure they have a positive and uplifting attitude toward themselves, whether they are around someone they want to attract or not.
By being a positive person, in general, you can instantly attract people into your life. You easily uplift others all while improving your own well-being.
11. Find your unique style
Not only are cool people fun to be around, but their fashion sense is unmatched. They use their clothing and accessories as an expression of their unique style and aesthetic, letting their personality shine through.
To be cool, make it a point to experiment with different looks until you find something that suits you, letting yourself be authentic in the process. It's just a fact that coolness stems from originality and confidence, not adhering to societal trends.
Photo: Sam Lion / Pexels
12. Stay true to yourself
At the end of the day, the coolest thing anyone can do is be true to who they are and what they believe in. Being cool doesn't mean attempting to be someone else or seeking validation from others; rather, it means embracing your genuine self unapologetically.
So, when you want to be cool and attract people to you, never give in to what others may pressure you to be. Trust your instincts and follow your heart. After all, you don't want to be around people who don't accept you as you are, right?
At the end of the day, cool people exude a positive emotional energy. And that type of energy is something that people can relate to and even end up falling in love with.
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Christian Carter is a dating coach and author of the e-book Catch Him & Keep Him. He has helped more than three million women become more successful with men, dating, and relationships.