15 Ways To Incorporate More Self-Love Into Your Life

Happy Lady

I Love Me...I Love Me Not

Do you struggle with low self-worth or self-esteem?

Do you find the voice in your head is negative or putting you down constantly?

Have you heard that you can’t love anyone else until you love yourself?

Many of us struggle with self-love and the idea itself has become cliché.  I developed this list in order to help my clients reach new heights in the self-love game and learn to love themselves from the inside out.

1. Define Who You Are, And Who You Want To Be.

Sit deeply with yourself.  Decide on your values and what’s important to you. You can be whomever you want to be starting NOW!

2. Surround Yourself With People You Respect And Are Good For You

If certain people in your life create more drama and negativity than good reevaluate the relationship.  Ask yourself how much time do you really want to be around people that bring you down?  We tend to be like the five people we spend the most time with.  If you don’t like the people you are surrounded by look for new peeps.  Read books about people you admire and emulate the qualities in those mentors.

3. Become Aware Of  Your Internal Dialogue And Practice Mindfulness.

Gain an awareness of what you are saying to yourself in your head.  Create a mindfulness practice.  Journal on your internal dialogue and document the repeated negative self-talk.  Identify core beliefs that are connected to this self-talk and challenge them.

4. Rewrite Your Story

If the story you tell yourself about your past is causing you pain and suffering, change the story. The stories we tell ourselves are just that, STORIES. By rewriting the story you can go from feeling like a victim/martyr to a VICTOR.

5. Learn That You Are Powerful and Have The Ability To Change Your Life

Eckhart Tolle Author of the New Earth says accept the situation, change the situation or leave the situation all else is madness.  You have the ability to control your life through the changes you make. 

6. Be Positive, But Be Real

When being positive doesn’t resonate with you on a soul level it probably isn’t going to work.  Be realistic.  Maybe you can’t start with loving yourself.  How about liking yourself or tolerating yourself first?  I started with the affirmation I’m ok, everything is ok and it is amazing how much this simple affirmation calmed my anxiety.  I CHOOSE NOT TO SUFFER…I CHOOSE HEALING.

7. Embrace Your Uniqueness

What others may think is weird doesn’t matter.  To love all of yourself is a true blessing.  Embrace your quirks they’re what make you…you.  Personality is the insanity of thy self.

8. Nurture Yourself With Kindness And Compassion

When we are kind and compassionate to ourselves all of our relationships improve.  We are a reflection of how we feel. 

9. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

This is some of the best advice I have ever received.  It is a must to be able to laugh at ourselves.  Smile and laugh. 

10. Gratitude Practice

One way to diffuse negativity is to incorporate a gratitude practice into your life.  It is impossible to be truly grateful and depressed at the same time.  Start small if you have too.   Your gratitude will grow as you continue the practice.

11. Practice Forgiveness

When we forgive we let go of the hatred, pain and resentment in our hearts.  Forgiveness is not for the person being forgiven.  It is a gift you give yourself so you can be free of the pain from the past.   

12. Learn To Set Boundaries and Be Assertive

Another gifts you can give yourself is learning to set boundaries.  It’s about learning to respect yourself and teaching others the same.  We only receive what we allow.  As we continue the journey of self-love we will be more conscious about what we accept.  By asserting ourselves we take power away from the people that are trying to use or manipulate us.  YOU are worth it.

13. Find Your Passion

When you find something you love to do life has meaning.  Passion makes us ambitious and excited for the day.  Finding your passion will allow you to express yourself authentically.

14. Deal With Your Stuff

We all have some.   Whatever core belief has caused you to have low self-worth it is based on something that has happened in your past.  Seek a trauma specialist or therapist that specializes in whatever your past wound may be and work through it.   It can be a miraculous way to shift quickly. 

15. Be The Love You Want In Your Life

Be the kind of person you would want as a best friend or partner.  If we are able to offer love without subjugation or expectation it is truly unconditional.  When we can start to love ourselves this way, we will attract this love into our lives.

Brent Berman is a Psychotherapist from Jupiter Florida.  He believes that we all have the power to live our dreams.