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Doing great on Tinder? Cool. But it might make you a cheater.
By Brad Browning — Last updated on May 17, 2023
Who is more likely to cheat in a relationship?
Well, according to a 2020 study published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior, if you do well on online dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge, you’re more likely to be unfaithful to your partner.
The study had 395 dating app users complete a simple questionnaire about their dating habits and found that dating app success and self-perceived desirability were both associated with the intention to cheat.
Meaning that if you think you’re hot stuff, you’re more likely to seek love outside of your relationship.
Between you and your partner, who is more likely to cheat?
Interestingly, the study also found that 40 percent of their U.S.-based respondents in serious relationships (i.e., people who are seriously dating, living together, engaged, or married) admitted to being active on dating apps.
What does this mean for you?
Well, I’ve always told people to be very cautious if they find out that their current partner is still using dating apps, no matter what their justification is.
I know many people whose partners said their friend signed them up, or that they were only on Tinder for a laugh. I’m never that surprised when it turns out they've been engaging in an affair.
So, be cautious if you find out that your partner is still using dating apps, despite the two of you being (supposedly) monogamous. And, be doubly careful if they are particularly vain or confident about their own desirability.
The study also found that it was less about how often people used dating apps and more about how successful they thought they were while on these apps.
There’s certainly a link between people with a high opinion of their own success in the dating market and people who are unfaithful.
Focus on communication to combat infidelity
Set clear boundaries with your partner about what is and is not OK in your relationship. Be crystal clear about your definitions of "monogamy" and "cheating."
Unfortunately, aside from the more obvious signs of cheating, there’s no way to know for sure whether or not they’re being faithful to you at all times. So, finding someone you can trust is essential.
And, of course, don’t let the relationship stagnate or sink lower on your priorities list, no matter what else is going on in your life.
While cheating is always inexcusable, it does happen more often in relationships that aren’t fulfilling to both partners.
Find out what your relationship is missing and do your best to fulfill both of your needs, so that neither of you feels the need to look elsewhere for love.
How using dating apps affected perceptions of dating
Using dating apps made people see that they had a larger number of potential mates available to them, which actually made them less likely to cheat on their partner. This makes sense if you look at it in terms of scarcity. If you think that you have plenty of options available to you, you won’t feel the pressure to cheat.
But if you feel that there aren’t very many potential mates for you, you’re more likely to jump at any chance to cheat, so you’re not stuck with your current partner for life. Plus, if you see that there are 500 potential mates out there, you might be overwhelmed by all your options, when compared to just five potential mates.
In the end, you can’t prevent cheating, no matter how much you wish you could.
So, before you get serious with someone, make sure that you can trust them. And, when in doubt, make sure that they’ve logged off the dating apps to focus on you and you alone.
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Brad Browning is a relationship coach and expert from Vancouver, Canada with over 10 years of experience working with couples to repair and improve relationships.