My guess is that you’ve been dating a while and not getting great results. You’re here reading this, after all. The best way to shift into having dates that render positive outcomes – like having more fun and eventually meeting The One – is to change the way you talk to yourself before you even leave the house.
Whether it’s a meet-date or a date-date, there are two things you can tell yourself that will improve your chances of meeting Mr. I Love You. And here’s the great thing about this: it’s 100% in your control. (After all, we do love our control, don’t we?)
Self-talk #1: “I hope I like him.”
This was the one thing I learned from my coach that changed my entire dating experience. For years I lived in a perpetual state of disappointment and self-doubt. Why aren’t they picking me?! Then I learned these magic words: I hope I like HIM.
We usually approach meeting men with the “I hope he likes me” feeling. Then, anything short of getting a second date feels like a personal rejection and failure. But what if you start with whether he seems to be someone you like? Can you see the difference?
The focus then shifts to how you and what you want and need. You stop trying to read his mind – Does he like me? What did he mean by that? – to what really counts: how you feel being with him and if you are having a nice time.
Self-talk #2: “Discover, don’t Decide.”
There is hoping you like him, and then there is hoping that every date will be your last. This is especially true of women dating over 40. Enough already, right? But let’s face it: all but one of your dates will be your last. If you go to each telling yourself “I hope he’s The One,” you will explode from the pressure.
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This article was originally published at Date Like A Grownup. Reprinted with permission from the author.