Don’t Fish For Compliments


Ladies, don't fish for compliments!

How many times have you sat there at dinner waiting for your date to notice how intelligent, well rounded, and articulate you really are? How many hours have you waited for those compliments that have just never come? The truth is that if you are spending your time dating waiting for some man you have met to give you validation in order to feel good about yourself then chances are that you really are not ready to date.

If really want to meet someone exciting and have a true meeting of the minds and souls then you need to have something to bring to the table. Your self worth should not have to be defined by other people’s opinion of you; it should be defined by you and you only. If you want someone to notice you and take you seriously then you need to start taking yourself seriously and become the kind of person that you would want to get to know. Someone who speaks their mind takes control of their own destiny and is up for trying new things.

You should have one rule and that rule should be that if you aren’t brave enough to do something on your own, then you shouldn’t be sharing it with someone else. Whether it is something like going out to dinner or a movie on your own or something more bold like asking that interesting man you keep running into at the art gallery out on date. Taking control, instead of sitting back and waiting and hoping, will lead to a more fulfilling life.

Sure, putting yourself out there can be intimidating and even frightening but, it will also help you to grow as a person and will make you far more interesting to others than if you simply let life pass you by. Of course, it won’t be easy, but if you start small and build up to bigger things, before you know it you can be the kind of person who doesn’t have to rely on others for their self worth, because you will begin to recognize your own. There are a variety of things you can do to begin becoming the type of person you know you can be, all you have to do is begin.

For example, if you tend to keep your opinions to yourself when they contradict what others may be thinking why not join a book club where everyone is encouraged to express their own opinions. Once you begin to feel the power of stating your own opinions, you will find it easier to state your opinions and be able to back them up. Before you know it you’ll be having dinner with some really great guy and the conversation will be stimulating because you both feel free to state your opinions.

You’ll find that you will enjoy the date more because you feel free to be yourself and chances are he will be impressed with your intelligence and wit. And who knows, you just may be finding yourself getting those compliments you use to pray for and realize that while those compliments are nice they really aren’t necessary because you know your own self worth and know that you have a lot to offer without someone else telling you.

Email me anytime at and ask me questions so I can help you in this area.

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.