The Problem With Nagging The Ones We Love

The Problem With Nagging The Ones We Love [EXPERT]

A closer look at the communication breakdown that leads to nagging ... and what to do about it.

Have you noticed that we don't typically nag the most obvious people in our lives, like our annoying co-workers or irritating neighbors? Rather, we save our nagging for those closest to us ... but why?

There are two main reasons. First, we can't help it. Our manners and cultural filters remind us that nagging our boss is a no-no, but when it comes to our spouses, kids and friends, we just can't stop ourselves. After all, it's just a little help, right?

The problem is, what comes from a loving place can often be perceived as judgment. If your husband were to say to you, "Those jeans are lookin' extra tight lately!" it wouldn't exactly feel good, even if he meant it with love. In fact, if he were to say things like that to you on a regular basis, you might start to doubt that he's actually the right guy for you.

As shocking as it would feel to have your man call you fat, it's equally as hurtful to men when women nag them. The difference is how we do it.

Women tend to share their feelings in more subtle ways. If you were to ask men (and we have!), nagging from a woman is often more like a slow drip from a faucet; it doesn't appear to do all that much harm in the moment, but over time, watch out!

Let's look at an example: Your guy needs to go to the doctor for his annual visit. He hasn't made the appointment, so you remind him. A few days go by and you ask, "Honey, did you call the doctor?" He tells you "no" and that he'll get to it. A few more days go by and you ask again: same response. This goes on for a month. Now, you're annoyed that he's not taking care of himself and he feels like you are constantly in his face telling him what to do. Continue reading.

Go nag-free this week and check out YourTango's Twitter party on Wednesday, November 14 from 2-4 EST!

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