Beating the Holilday Blues


The holidays are almost over and the messages we've been receiving for weeks from television, radio, and the commercial world are telling us that it 'tis the season to be jolly' ... but what if you are not feeling very jolly right now?

The holidays can be a time of difficulty or even deep sadness for many people. Some folks have lost loved ones through death, divorce, or painful breakup, and had to face the holidays alone. Others are physically far away from loved ones, or are estranged emotionally from their family or their partner. Still others have chosen to separate from dysfunctional ties, but this too is very painful when we look around at what others seem to have.

What are some of the steps you can take to keep your spirits up, let go of the disappointment surrounding the holiday season, and start the New Year off right?

* Make plans, keep busy, get out of the house, exercise, walk, and be with friends.

* If you are single: get out and date. In Mars & Venus on a Date, the wisdom is, date around -don’t sleep around. If you are having difficulty meeting new people, try online dating. Make dates and get out. If you have avoided online dating, stop avoiding. There is no better way to pre-screen an ‘applicant’ for the very important position of your companion.

* Plan a potluck party. Entertaining is a great way to energize the house cleaning process too. Ask everyone to bring something. Don’t work too hard. This is intended to both give you something to look forward to, something to focus on, and to have fun with your social support network. If it makes you feel any better, set a date for a ‘pity party,’ but let it be for after the New Year. Decide you can indulge yourself then, but for right now, make your mind up to have some quality entertainment.

* Be kind to yourself. Schedule a massage. Sleep in. Make yourself a lobster dinner. Be good to you. If your mind and your body tell you to take some quiet time, you know what it means. Take a walk on the beach, a hike in the woods, or curl up with your favorite music or a good book. Meditate on what you are thankful for, even if you can only think of one thing. Now, take the time to repeat that one thing over and over. Think about what you do want in your life, and then ask for it. If you are feeling weepy, find a friend to share with. Don’t cry alone.

* Know your boundaries. If you need to hibernate a little, that is fine, but be careful at this vulnerable time about exposure to intoxicants, especially by yourself.

* Talk to an Ask Mars Venus Coach. Our coaches are trained in expert relationship advice, and that extends to your personal relationship with yourself. A coach will help you understand why you find it so difficult to wrap up loose ends and manage a fresh start at the New Year. A coach will help you balance your life and get you on solid ground so that this year is truly brand new and peppered with reasonable goals. And count on your Ask Mars Venus coach the whole year through. If you hit a bump along the way, you can always turn to Ask Mars Venus.