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You don't have to posses all of these traits to play up the ones you do have.
By Apollonia Ponti
Last updated on Nov 04, 2023
So many people see dating and relationships as a game to be played and sometimes even manipulated. But when it comes to finding someone who offers real love, affection and support for life, the stakes are significantly higher.
When it comes to finding that love, we can see how everything in life is based on desire, need, and pleasure. If something appears to fulfill one of those criteria, we are attracted to it.
People tend to think because they are a "good catch" or a good person, anyone they want should be attracted to them. But that's just not how it works. You need to know what attracts women — not just any women, but the specific woman whom you can see yourself with for life.
You need to showcase your best qualities to attract women. Doing this takes time and requires putting yourself first while you figure out how to be your very best self.
We love to share an emotional connection. To create that, you have to be willing to show who you are while retaining your sense of independence — and in order to do that, you need to know who you are and show it, confidently.
The good news is, once you know who you are, you can play up the best parts of yourself, the parts that will attract the type of woman who can be a fully engaged, loving girlfriend or wife.
So, do you have the traits that most attract the type of woman who is going to build a fulfilling life with you? The list below shares some of the most swoon-worthy traits that women value most in men. But don't worry, even if you don't have all of them, you can play up the ones you do have and work toward some of the new ones that feel right for you.
Here's how to be swoon-worthy to women.
1. Have a busy life
This doesn't mean being too busy to have a relationship. It means you have priorities, which shows her that even though you like her, she has to show you who she is before she becomes a top priority herself.
2. Have leadership skills
Having leadership skills means you're decisive, not controlling. You can share what you like and what you don't like. This is something most people will be attracted to. You're not afraid to plan things with her and allow her the time and opportunity to get to know you.
3. Have passion
When you talk about your passions in life without dominating the conversation, it attracts people. Expressing your greatest desires builds desire in her as well. The fire that lights up within you screams positivity when you're around her and is another way of showing her you have a life outside of dating.
4. Have confidence (without cockiness)
People don’t want cocky; they want confidence. It’s nice to know a man isn't obsessed with his looks. Many people are attracted to someone who carries themselves with class and dignity. Even if you know you're hot, your vibe should be about more than that. What makes someone truly attractive goes much deeper than the physical.
5. Have strong beliefs and opinions
Strong beliefs and convictions are attractive when you communicate about them respectfully and hold yourself to high standards.
When you don’t agree with something the woman in your life says or does, you should be able to communicate this compassionately and directly. Being open and kind with a person allows them to like you in ways that aren't shallow.
6. Have patience
It's attractive when you take time to get to know people rather than diving in head first right away. Pacing yourself to go slowly shows you are truly interested in getting to know her. This makes you a catch because you want to know she is the right fit for you. She'll know you are a person of quality because you see yourself that way.
7. Have the ability to make decisions
When planning dates, many women find it attractive when their date gives them options, mutually agrees on a decision, and takes action. This shows confidence in deciding and acting on it.
8. Have a good sense of style
You have to know what you're comfortable with, but dressing nicely shows you will make an effort. You don’t have to be the hottest guy in the world, but you do have to be put together, and your style should align with who you are.
9. Have a strong voice
This doesn't mean you have to have a deep voice, but it means you are confident in what you say. Steer clear of phrasing like, "Well, sorry, um, like, ah..." Your voice should exude confidence. Do this by believing what you say and acting authentically.
10. Have a beard or 5 o’clock shadow
Many women love facial hair on guys, and if you can grow it, try it out! It shows off a different side of you. Honestly, though, this has about a 50/50 chance of working, as it depends on what a woman is looking for, but it is good to change up your look at times.
12. Have interesting conversations
Talk about topics both of you enjoy, and share things that are new to both of you. When you spark a conversation about a topic she's into, she will likely ask questions. This is an opportunity to share your areas of interest and knowledge with her, and it will boost your emotional connection. Make sure you leave room to listen to her ideas on the topic.
13. Have the ability to own your flaws
Own your flaws and know what you need to do to improve yourself. Don't focus on your shortcomings. Do focus on working to be better and highlight your strong points. You understand life is in eternal growth mode.
You are just trying to be the best man every second, minute, hour, month, year, and decade.
14. Have some nice socks
Okay, this sounds so silly, but women do like this. We don’t always talk about it, but it's a fun way to showcase your style, which is already attractive. And people who wear wild, colorful socks are independent, intriguing, and successful.
15. Have a good scent
Someone's scent is the strongest sense tied to both emotion and memory. When a woman gets attached to your smell, it can help her think positively of you when you are away.
16. Have well-cared-for hands
This is important. Don’t pick your skin or nails to the bone. Doing so is a sign of instability and shaky nerves. This could be saying you need some help sorting out your emotional well-being.
17. Have a sense of adventure
Take risks and seek adventure, both within life and for yourself! This doesn't mean you have to go bungee jumping every weekend, but that you like stepping out of your comfort zone to challenge yourself. This signals emotional strength.
18. Have respect for yourself and others
A woman observes how you treat the wait staff and everyone around you. If she's impressed with your manners, she will brag to her friends about you — guaranteed.
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Apollonia Ponti is a dating and relationship expert and certified coach who works with men and women to get exactly what they want from their love life.
This article was originally published at Apollonia Ponti. Reprinted with permission from the author.