Stop Waiting, Thinking & Looking!


Our expert's controversial take on how women are the reason men act as they do.

Let me first begin by saying I absolutely love the book and movie versions of  Waiting to Exhale and Think Like A Man. I also can be found most Sunday afternoons watching reruns of Sex and the City, like most women, cheering for Big. I admire the writing and work of both writers and admit their works to be among my all time favorites. The title of this article is in no way meant to be disrespectful, it is merely meant to be comical and prove a point. The point being, it’s time to stop looking at men as the problem for failed relationships.  Women, me included, have a limiting believe system that says there are no good men or that men are dogs and they are the reason we can’t have successful relationships. When in reality we, the women, are responsible for most of the trouble with our relationships.

We are the problem and not the men. It’s our fault that men do the things they do.

Women are the first nurturers of the boy before he becomes a man.  When the boy grows up, he dates us and we set the standard for how he treats us.  When a man cheats, he often does it with who?  Yep, us, women.  Because somewhere there’s a broken woman who has little to no standards and thinks it’s okay to sleep with someone else’s man.  When men don’t commit, we keep dating him hoping we will somehow love him enough to get him to change his mind.  When men abuse us, we think he just needs somebody to love him and we stay to our own demise.  When a man doesn’t have a job, we continue to date and we often take care of him too.

So you see, my sisters, it’s us. It’s not the man who hurts us, it’s us. Men can only do what we allow.  Men will only respect what we respect. Men will only love what we ourselves love.  So let’s stop waiting to exhale. Let’s stop waiting for a man to take our breath away. Let’s get it together and do what’s right for ourselves. When we do what’s right for ourselves, we automatically do what’s right for our men. Let’s stop trying to think like a man. Yes, we definitely need to understand them but we don’t need to think like them. We need to go back to thinking like women – thinking and acting like ladies. We need men. 

Yep, I said it.  “I need a man.” 

My girlfriends can’t do it for me. I need me a big, strong, filled with integrity, fine man. But before I can get the man I need, I must do the work on me. I must work on me so when my king arrives, I will already be his queen. My king shouldn't have to teach me how to be a queen!

If the world were filled with queens, men would have to rise to the challenge and become kings.  Men are created for this challenge. Men are looking, searching for the woman who makes him rise to the challenge of providing for her, protecting her and laying claim declaring his love for her.  Your man is searching for his queen – his wife

...He who finds a wife finds a good thing  I am striving to be a good thing. What about you?  If the answer is yes, let’s take this journey together.

This is an excerpt from my upcoming book… STOP Thinking, Acting and Looking

More to come!


Andrea Oden -

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.