Men Often Need Encouragement to Ask for Help

Self, Family

How to tell if your guy is depressed, and how to help him recover.

Men shouldn't need help.

This is an unwritten code, an unspoken rule and a shameful hypocrisy of our culture.

We lie to ourselves and say we are "fine" when we are not because we have been told since childhood that men must be strong and stoic. Crying, let alone asking for help, is not masculine. So we tell ourselves and each other: "Man Up!"

However, when men suffer in private and take their own lives, they, like anyone else, leave loved ones behind to mourn. They harm more than themselves and they hurt those who love them the most.

My male clients usually only end up in my office after they realize they have hit rock-bottom. These are the truly fortunate ones whose inner voices yelled loud and long enough to enable them to go against the code. This realization shows real strength.

Depression is a state of mind where we feel like we are failing. We blame ourselves for our failure, and we believe what we think. We find ourselves constantly following negative thoughts, repeating our negative mantras like an internal iTunes playlist. We ignore our friends' and/or family's warnings or pleas; blind to the exaggeration inherent in our negative thoughts. We then become angry. Keep reading...

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This article was originally published at Effective Therapy NYC Alex Stadler . Reprinted with permission from the author.