The Amazon Success Phrase That Will SAVE Your Relationship

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The Amazon Success Phrase That Could Save Your Relationship

Three little words that can help build trust, connection, and cooperation.

Okay, we know.

Your love relationship or marriage is NOT the same thing as a multi-billion dollar company. The approach and "bottom line" are far different because your love relationship can’t be reduced to numbers on a spreadsheet or stock value.

But, what if certain strategies that CEOs use to create winning business enterprises were useful for tackling the biggest problems you and your partner face? We think there’s something to learn from these corporate lessons, which could spark a huge (and positive) shift in your relationship.

Jeff Bezos is the founder and CEO of the worldwide giant provider of just about everything: Amazon. We recently read an interview with him and were a little surprised. He shares a simple phrase that he credits as part of the reason why Amazon is such a huge success. 

Obviously, there are no instant cures for relationship problems. If you walk into the room after years of criticizing or lying to your partner and utter a few words, the disconnection and damage aren't going to just disappear.

However, consciously chosen words combined with intentional action can be powerful for healing and opening the door to the kind of trust and happiness that you’ve been looking for.

We call connecting and healing words and phrases "magic", not because they fix problems in an instant, but because when used consistently along with actions that match and when they are spoken in an authentic way, the resulting positive change truly does feel magical!

Back to Mr. Bezos and his unique corporate strategy.

In the interview, Jeff Bezos explains what he does when a company employee suggests something that he doesn't necessarily see eye-to-eye with that person about, he pauses to consider the situation and then he’ll often choose to "disagree and commit".

When you disagree with someone in your life you might:

  • Try to convince them that your way has the most value and merit.
  • Affirm your authority in the matter and insist that your way is "right".
  • Get tired of arguing about the issue and do whatever you can to avoid or sidestep it.

It sounds like what Bezos does — which support success — is to not get bogged down in the debate or power plays. Instead, the difference of opinion is acknowledged and a conscious decision is made that Bezos and the team at Amazon will make a commitment to the idea and to the larger goals of the company.

The potential beauty of this idea is not only that it prevents everyone from wasting precious time and energy on conflict and debate, it encourages all involved to step outside of their position and viewpoint and open up to a new idea — one that some of them may not even think is the best idea.

Of course, there are possible pitfalls to this approach, but let’s focus on what could be the result for Amazon and for you and your partner too!

Taking a "disagree and commit" approach to difficult situations in your relationship can be a powerful pivot moment in many different ways:

  • You are your partner can respectfully acknowledge that you have differing views, but you affirm your commitment to do whatever you can to keep the connection, trust, and healthy communication alive and well.
  • You and your partner might disagree about a particular financial, parenting, political, or any other issue, but you make it clear that you are committed to working together to find a next best step you both can get behind and feel okay about.
  • You and your partner are invited with an approach like "disagree and commit" to take a conscious chance — even when an idea feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

Use words and phrases like these to help pave the way for success in even the most difficult and contentious times:

  • "I am unsure about your idea, but am willing to give it a try."
  • "I have a different view on this, but am open to hearing more about your thoughts."
  • "It is important to me that we address these issues AND I am willing to move forward on your idea."
  • "My commitment in this situation is to keep our relationship healthy and close. Let’s talk more about our different ideas and come up with a solution we both can be happy with."

Stay clear about what’s true for you and remain open to what your partner has to say. As much as possible, move away from a “right/wrong” point of view and toward one which builds connection while honoring your values and integrity.

Nobody said that working through conflict in your relationship was easy! But when you mindfully choose words and phrases that encourage trust and connection it is easier.

Susie and Otto Collins share more in these free videos at our Magic Relationship Words site.