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6 Expert Tips On How To Be Waaaay Better In Bed

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6 Expert Tips On How To Have A Good Sex Life In Marriage & Relationships
Sex

Sometimes you need to think a whole lot further outside of the box.

The internet is full of sex tips for couples who want to know how to have good sex within their marriages and long-term relationships the kind that will bring them closer and help them stay deeply in love.

Improving your sex life and learning how to be better in bed is about more than having great orgasms and trying out every one of the "best" sex positions and sex toys you've ever read about online. After all, not everyone is interested in acrobatic sex.

Still, a natural aspect of human sexuality that you may sometimes feel like you need to do something different and break yourselves out of a stale bedroom routine.

RELATED: How To Have Great (Not Good) Sex: 7 Tips To Make It Hot Every Time

Maybe you already have a great sex life, and you'd just like to add a little spice to the mix every now and then in order to test each other's boundaries. Or you might want to have better solo sex when your boyfriend or girlfriend is unavailable, and hey, that's great too!

You can absolutely change it up and make things more exciting without much effort at all!

Here are 6 of the best sex tips for couples who want to know how to have good sex and be waaay better in bed.

1. Try some new sex toys.

Whatever yours reason are for wanting to spice up your sex life, you definitely want to get yourselves a sex toy or two. Look for one that is made of high-quality materials and comes highly rated, but that you perhaps don't feel exactly sure about how it will work and dances on the line between intriguing and intimidating.

Sex toys not only intensify pleasure in bed, they're fun! Hence the word "toy."

They present you with new sensations and new ideas for ways to play, explore, and enjoy each other.

(Pause to imagine John Mayer as he sings, "Your body is a wonderland.")

Sex toys can also help you both climax faster, harder, and deeper.

And here’s the thing about sex toys (and everything else on this list): if you try one and it isn't right for you, you don't ever have to use it again.

When you try something new as a couple, even if it doesn't turn out the way you hoped, it can still bring you closer and makes you feel more connected. Sharing new experiences is an essential ingredient for deepening and strengthening relationships — as long as you are both willing to be open, vulnerable, and playful.

2. Talk dirty to each other.

Dirty talk is the easiest way to immediately improve your sex life. A man can even control his woman’s orgasms simply by knowing exactly what to say and do, leading her to have deeper, longer, more intense, even screaming and squirting orgasms!

Yes, it can feel scary for people who aren't used to doing it, but it’s particularly important for men to do because it helps women to get out of their heads during sex.

Let’s face it, men are visual creatures. Just seeing your girl’s naked body will turn you on and turn off your mind. Women, on the other hand, are emotional creatures. We're often stuck in our heads (yes even during sex) as we think about the errands we forgot to run, if our body looks fat in that position, or what to eat for dinner.

Here’s the thing about dirty talk though: it’s easy!

You don’t have to come up with anything clever to say. Simply say what you’re doing and feeling, and ask your partner what they want to do and feel. It will change your sex life in an instant.

3. Communicate with your partner.

Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend your likes, dislikes, fantasies, what feels good, what you want them to do, what you are open to try, what you don’t like that much, your favorite position, where and how to move … talk about it!

You don't have to give a lecture or a speech, but talk. Have a fun back and forth conversation about sex. Don’t be insecure or nervous about it. If you’re old enough and mature enough to have sex, you should be old enough and mature enough to talk about it.

If a man can’t get you to orgasm, help him! You can guide him a little by saying things like, "I like it when you ...," or, "I want you to do it like this …" Don’t be pushy or insulting. Help and guide him.

Afterward, when you’re feeling emotionally open and still in the mindset, you can go a little deeper. Talk about what you might like to try that’s different, if there is something that they do that you really like, if you’d like it even more if they did something a different way, or maybe there's a position you've always wanted to try.

This is also the time to ask them what they like, what they would like even more if you did something a little different/more/less, and what they have always wanted to try.

Be careful not to put them down or criticize. It’s best to not generalize as well. By asking focused questions and giving focused information, you'll be able to make the conversation constructive, encouraging, fun and exciting.

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4. Watch sexy videos.

You aren't watching because you want to get turned on by a hotter guy or because you want your guy to be turned on by a girl with bigger breasts.

You are watching because it's hot to watch other people engaged in sex. When you see them licking, biting, teasing, sweating, and talking dirty, you'll feel turned on, too.

5. Listen to sexy videos (without watching!).

This is one of the best ways to learn how to talk dirty! Put on a talk-heavy video, turn the TV or computer around, and then turn off the lights. Now, you and your partner will just repeat after the man and woman's voices. This gives you permission to say dirty, limit-pushing things you never had the courage or inclination to say before.

Once you get those words in your ear and you hear them come out of your mouth, you'll have broken that barrier and you can now introduce them into your regular routine.

6. Let strangers watch.

There's a naughty, dirty, and exciting element to having sex in clear view of a stranger's eye. Of course, that doesn't mean it should done in an illegal or dangerous way.

Push up against a hotel window, the kind with see-through glass. You can even wear a mask if you want to hide your identity. Knowing that eyes might see you can be a huge turn on, while you remain safe in your room and can return to the privacy of your bed at any time.

RELATED: 10 Erotic (And KINKY) Things We've Done To Spice Up Our Marriage

Laurel House is an international celebrity Dating and Relationship Coach, a dating coach on E!’s “Famously Single,” a Dating Coach for Three Day Rule Matchmaking, and a 5-time published Lifestyle Author.

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