7 Ways To Make Motherhood Work For You

Love, Self

Believe it or not, making time for yourself makes you a better wife and mom.

Deborah Roth says:

Time is the most valuable commodity and we all get the same 24 hours in a day. It's amazing how differently we all prioritize those precious hours, though. Being the giving, nurturing creatures that we are, it's easy to forget about ourselves.

I've worked with hundreds of overwhelmed, under-nurtured moms, helping them to reclaim time, energy and space for themselves—to take care of their bodies, stimulate their minds, soothe their hearts, and nourish their souls. When I introduce the idea of "radical self care," I get a range of reactions: dismissive ("Right… who has time for that?!"), wistful ("That's nice, but I can’t afford to."), guilty ("Oh, I couldn't possibly…"). Do any of them resonate with you? Or maybe you've got a particularly creative excuse for short-changing yourself. Motherhood & Love: How To Keep Your Main Relationships Fulfilling

In my book, Circle of One: The Art of Becoming a SELF-Centered Woman, I outline ways that women can rediscover and support their inner cores of wholeness (what I call the "circle of one") through a practice of "sacred SELF-centeredness." Because if we don't place ourselves at the center of our lives, we become increasingly scattered, ungrounded, and miserable—our circle of one is just a black hole. And ultimately, if we don't create space for self care, we won't be whole enough to take care of those we love. In the words of a great (probably female) sage, "If mama ain't happy, nobody's happy!" ONE DAY Movie Contest: Tell A Love Story, Win Free Flicks & More

I suspect you'd have no problem coming up with a list of luscious ideas if you had a full, kid-free day to indulge yourself. So what I'd like to do is to offer a few quick and easy tips for re-charging yourself in the midst of your busy days, even when the kids are around…maybe especially when they are! The key is to think of your home as sacred space. Juggling Motherhood, Career & Love: Put Yourself First

  • Rather than having the TV on continually in the background, try some quiet music. You can find countless studies on the healing power of music—it stimulates the creative, intuitive right side of our brains, our heartbeats sync with slower, mellow tempos and can it lift our spirits when words fail.
  • Light a candle … even if it's high on a shelf, safe from little hands, a softly glowing flame shifts the energy in a room and sooths the soul—both yours and your kids.
  • Aromatherapy does the same thing—scent is the most evocative of all of our senses, directly stimulating our limbic system which governs our memories and emotions. Bergamot, chamomile, and clary sage are all common essential oils to engender feelings of peace and relaxation.

For lots more tips on taking care of yourself, click here.

Jill Baake says:

Your job as a mom is a big one. The list of tasks and responsibilities can seem endless and daunting on a good day, and downright impossible on a bad day. When you add in the pressure of being your child's most critical role model, it's easy to feel that you may never be enough.

For some, adding self-care to the list of priorities is laughable. We all understand the reasons…I don't want to be selfish; I don't have enough time, money or energy; my family needs me. However, when you realize that how you treat yourself teaches your children how to themselves, "Me Time" is no longer selfish or indulgent, it's a necessity.

Finding the perspective and time to take care of yourself can be challenging. Here are some thoughts to get you started:

  • Let them do it! Your kids are brilliant! Give them the opportunity to learn, grow, make mistakes, figure things out, and take care of themselves. This is a win-win. The more you allow your children to do for themselves, the less responsibility you have, and the more time you create for taking care of yourself. Oh, and it works with husbands, too!
  • Say No. Take a look at your daily schedule and weed out a few things that are not fun for you. Just because you are available, doesn't mean you need to do it. Respect your time and energy and let go of tasks and activities that don't bring joy or enrichment.
  • Change your definition of Supermom. You don’t need to bake cookies, be on every committee, coach soccer, have a spotless house and children, and wear pearls to be Supermom. Instead, move toward being a Supermom that is confident, loving, and joyful. It is not about what you do, it's about who you are.
  • Check your self-image. How you feel about yourself is a good indication of how your kids are going to feel about themselves. You are their primary role model. If you're not feeling good about who you are, make a commitment to yourself and your kids to improve your thoughts.

Your kids deserve a strong, confident, love-filled mom, and you have the ability and the power to be that role model. Feeling good is contagious. Do something just for you today, and allow yourself to feel really good about it. That good feeling will benefit everyone in your life. Spirituality: How Erotic Healing Saved My Marriage

Finding time for yourself each and every day is the key to being a more loving mom and romantic partner, a more productive employee and a better friend, sister, daughter, etc. Start right now and make taking care of your needs a personal habit that will benefit you the rest of your life.