Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
Her mother wants her to apologize.
By NyRee Ausler — Written on Dec 25, 2022
Living up to our parents’ expectations can be difficult.
It’s hard to find the balance between knowing and following your own heart and doing your best to make them proud.
One woman took to the subreddit, "r/AmItheA--hole," to ask if she was wrong for allowing her father to believe for a second that she might be pregnant.
Her father believed her because she had been struggling to overcome alcoholism.
She provides context about her struggles and also lets readers know she does not have any children yet.
A few weeks prior to posting, she joined her family at a restaurant to celebrate her father’s birthday.
She's currently sober and wants things to stay that way, but chose not to let her family in on the fact that she was no longer drinking.
She didn’t want to disappoint them in case she relapsed.
During the dinner, she ordered lemonade and water, and her mother thought it meant that she might be pregnant.
Her mother then asked, “Is there something you need to tell us? Are you hiding something?”
This question caught her father’s attention because he had been looking forward to having grandkids and thought he might finally get an opportunity to be a grandfather.
Begrudgingly, the woman said “no” but felt bad because the father’s face was filled with disappointment.
He asked his daughter why she wasn’t drinking if she was not pregnant.
Her mom joined in the line of questioning and she eventually became overwhelmed and left the restaurant.
Now her mom is telling her that she “broke his heart and tricked him into believing [you] had finally changed [your] mind.”
She tells readers that she is an only child and her father’s only hope for having grandkids that carry on the family name.
Her failure to produce a child has made her dad insecure and she feels guilty because she believes he would be an awesome grandfather.
Now she wants to know if she is wrong for depriving her dad of the experience of being a granddad and spoiling his grandkids.
Redditors took her side and felt as though she had done nothing wrong.
One person posted, “Hey you're doing great & I'm happy you choose recovery! Wishing you all the best.”
They also offered their opinion on how she behaved at dinner stating, “NTA (not the a--hole). It's their expectations believing you only can be pregnant when refusing to drink. You answered honestly. Case solved.”
Another person shared their insight, “Apologize for drinking lemonade? WTAF? There are so many reasons for not drinking.”
“Even if OP’s family doesn’t know she’s an alcoholic, it’s literally none of their business and they should be apologizing to her for piling on guilt. Yikes.”
One commenter pointed out that the father’s desire to pass down the family name to a grandchild is misguided.
He said, “Also, unless she is 'going it alone,' the kid will usually have the father's name. So, passing down the family name isn't realistic.”
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.