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She makes him uncomfortable.
By Nia Tipton — Written on Feb 03, 2023
A woman is being called "clueless," after admitting that she will bring baked food items for her coworker even though he's married and finds the ordeal uncomfortable.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — she explained that she's been working at her company for around two years.
"I like to cook and bake and my roommate is obsessively a healthy eater so I usually have a lot of leftovers and I always bring them to the office," she wrote in her Reddit post.
She constantly makes baked goods for her married 'work husband' despite his lack of interest.
About a year ago, another coworker, Denzel, was hired at the company she works for.
Immediately after getting hired, Denzel and her "hit it off" and became friends.
However, after a few months, the woman's other coworkers began making jokes that she and Denzel were each other's "work husband" and "work wife."
She acknowledged that while Denzel is married, she finds the titles "super funny and cute," but explained that their relationship is purely platonic and nothing has ever happened between them, though she noted that she wouldn't be opposed to their relationship turning romantic.
Since she and Denzel were fairly good friends, she'd constantly bring him baked goods that she'd made, however, he soon stopped eating the food she'd bring him.
When she asked him about it, he told her that he and his wife were started a keto diet.
"I decided to make some keto snacks so that Denzel could still partake, so I made a batch of Keto muffins the next week," she admitted.
After bringing Denzel the muffins, she noticed that he didn't eat those as well, and when she asked him about it, he told her that he was trying to lose weight.
"I said he didn’t look like he needed to, but that I’d try to make some healthy snacks next time so that he could partake in my food without compromising his diet."
He assured her that she didn't need to go out of her way to make him food that he was able to eat, but she insisted upon it.
"I found a recipe for low-calorie Keto scones, and I made and brought those in a few days later."
She even began sending Denzel information "regarding fitness" and "calorie-counting apps" that would keep him informed about his health.
The woman was eventually told to stop or she'd be reported to HR.
One of the woman's other coworkers, Megan, who is friends with Denzel and his wife outside of work, pulled her aside one day to talk.
Megan told her that she needed to stop "pushing food on Denzel" because it was making him uncomfortable since it seemed as if she were interested in him.
"She threatened to report me to HR if I didn't stop," the woman recalled.
She was shocked at hearing Megan's threat and tried to assure her that she was only trying to be nice to Denzel.
"[I was] trying to accommodate everyone when bringing treats to the office, and Denzel never said anything about being uncomfortable," she continued.
The woman pointed out that Megan threatening to report her to HR seemed like an "overreaction," and wondered if she should stop baking and offering Denzel food when he doesn't want it.
A majority of people who commented on the woman's Reddit post agreed that she was in the wrong.
"You aren’t trying to accommodate him. You are trying to attract him and he is married and not interested," one user wrote.
"Back off and respect his wishes that you leave him alone."
Another user added, "He has drawn a clear boundary and even had a colleague re-state that boundary. Please take a seat and leave that man alone."
"You risk losing your job otherwise and these [folks] aren't in the wrong here, you are."
A third user chimed in, "I think [Denzel] is aware of your unrequited interest in him and is trying to distance himself from you."
"Heed your friend's advice who tells you to leave him alone."
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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.