Photo: Drazen Zigic / Marjan Apostolovic / Shutterstock
He's still grieving his late wife.
By Sanika Nalgirkar — Written on Oct 15, 2022
One woman thought to uninvite her widowed brother from their family dinner because he was still grieving but neither he nor her parents appreciated it and criticized the decision.
After getting blamed by her family members for it, the woman went to Reddit’s “r/AmItheA--hole” (AITA) thread to find out if the internet users blamed her too.
Ever since the woman’s brother lost his wife eight weeks ago, he had been isolating himself from everyone to mourn her.
His parents had more recently started inviting him to family events as they had been worried about him.
“He agrees to come but then at some point, someone mentions his wife even just her name and he begins to sob,” the woman wrote.
The woman didn’t want to make her guests feel uncomfortable at the next family dinner so she uninvited her brother.
After having a discussion about it with her husband, the woman went ahead and canceled her brother’s invitation.
She also apologized to her brother about it and thought he would be happy to be on his own but he was upset.
This reaction of his surprised her as she assumed he was always forced to attend their family events.
“My parents found out and went off on me calling my behavior disgraceful and saying that I was unsupportive and unfeeling to what my brother's going through to exclude him like that,” the woman explained.
She tried to convince her parents that she sympathized with her brother’s loss and didn’t want to exclude him like that.
"I explained why I thought this was the best option but they claimed that I took away the comfort and support that my brother gets from the people around him. They said that I was selfish and have no regard for my brother's loss but I 100% do," the woman explained.
Additionally, her parents thought that she should apologize to her brother for her actions.
When she told her husband about it, he was on her side and didn't agree with her parents.
The woman added, “My husband said that my parents obviously don't care about guests being uncomfortable watching my brother sob at every event and causing it to be cut short like that.”
Redditors shared the same sentiments as the woman’s parents and thought that she was wrong.
One user wrote, “The man lost her only 8 weeks ago. Of course, he's still struggling, especially since y'all can't help but bring up his wife in conversation, apparently.”
Another user wrote, “Such a shame that your brother didn't get over the loss of his wife in a timeframe that makes you comfortable! Uninviting your brother to a family dinner was rude and uncaring!”
“His wife just died and you uninvited him to family dinners because he makes you feel uncomfortable at a time when needs family support. You basically said ‘Bro, you aren't invited because your dead wife situation bums me out,’” another user commented.
One person commented, “you’re acting so callously. Of course, he is going to get upset as [it’s] human nature. You’re supposed to be there for him. As time goes on he will be less emotional.”
It seemed people online sympathized with the man as he had just lost his wife and understood that he was still struggling.
Sanika Nalgirkar is a News & Entertainment Writer for YourTango. She has a master's degree in Creative Writing. See more of her writing on her website.