Photo: Ann Rodchua/Shutterstock
Is it too much for supporting the family?
By Sanika Nalgirkar — Written on Mar 12, 2022
This man was left baffled when his wife asked him to pay her for her pregnancy. So, he posted on Reddit to ask for people’s advice.
He explained that he isn’t legally married to his wife, rather is "spiritually" married to her for two years. He further explained that both of them are financially independent and had agreed to split everything financially when they got married.
The couple recently decided to have a child together. One day, when the man came home from work, it seemed his wife wanted to have a serious conversation with him.
His wife asked him to pay $50,000 for leaving work and getting pregnant.
The man explained that his wife will soon be starting her maternity leave and it might stretch up to a year. However, her workplace will only be paying her half her salary for the first six months and the other six months would be unpaid.
He wrote, “She was very direct, and said that…taking a 6 month break from work would cost her almost $50,000 since her pay would be cut in half.”
His wife asked him to compensate her for the $50,000 she would be losing out on while also helping pay any costs regarding her pregnancy and childbirth.
The husband wrote that his wife had put a lot of thought into this and had even prepared a list of things she expected him to pay for.
He wrote, “It’s a 16 page ring binder that she handed me with detailed notes, some explanations, and lists of expenses.”
There are also further notes from his wife for splitting the housework and hiring a housekeeper.
All of these requests shocked the husband. He wrote, “She wants me to pay her $50,000 – $100,000 to compensate for the loss of her salary for 6-12 months as a result of her having our child.”
The husband mentioned that since they aren’t legally married, he understands his wife’s viewpoint. However, he still doesn’t have a good feeling about this.
He further wrote, “I didn’t fight it or argue, and she’s basically allowing me to think about it, but says if having kids is something we’re going to do, she wants to write up an agreement and go to a lawyer (splitting the cost of that is ALSO in the binder).”
The husband suspects that his wife may not be pregnant.
The man further wrote that he suspects his wife’s pregnancy. One of the things that drew his suspicions was that his wife had been talking to her sister earlier that day.
He explained that they barely talked, so he was thinking about what it might have been about.
He further mentioned that his wife had an abortion in the past without telling him.
He wrote, “I was shocked to learn that when I did, but supported her choice as it’s her body, and at the time having kids would have been the wrong decision for us.”
The husband also mentioned that he investigated further about his wife’s pregnancy. He wrote, “I checked trash cans and such for a pregnancy test but didn’t find anything.”
He even mentioned that he is thinking about asking his wife whether she is pregnant.
Internet users commented and questioned why the man was even debating on contributing financially to his family.
One user wrote, “I know plenty of men that have been the sole provider and financially supported their wives while they were pregnant…They would have called it, 'supporting their family'. If you're going to have a child, I think that's the outlook you need to adopt.”
Another user wrote, “Not only that but she is taking care of a baby as well as herself! She wants you to support her, as a partner will - to make sure she and your baby are taken care of physically, mentally, emotionally, financially.”
Sanika Nalgirkar, M.F.A. is a writer who covers entertainment & news, lifestyle, and pop culture topics.