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Adopting these traits can make you instantly more likeable.
By Nia Tipton — Written on Sep 23, 2021
Learning how to be likeable can drastically improve your way of living.
The social skills that you adopt and the way you behave can affect the type of people that gravitate towards you. Possessing that coveted skill of likeability can attract like-minded individuals who will see you as someone they can depend on.
Some common traits you might see in objectively likeable people include:
1. Being genuine
2. Smiling a lot
3. Giving out compliments
4. Being honest
So how can you embody these traits yourself, all while being genuine and not manipulative?
Here are a few ways to be instantly more likeable.
1. Smile at others.
A simple smile can immediately alter someone’s day. It’s an easy way to come off as someone who is warm and inviting. By radiating positive energy, people will flock to you and imitate the energy you are giving out, giving you a more likeable and charismatic personality.
“Smiling is contagious and spreads goodwill. When you smile at people you lift their spirits and your own,” says YourTango expert Ronnie Ann Ryan, a love & cosmic coach.
It’s an easy tip that almost everyone can start implementing into their daily routine.
2. Be engaged in conversation.
When having a conversation with another person, make you sure to give them your undivided attention. That means don’t have your phone in your hand, because it can serve as a disruption and will immediately alert the other person that you don’t particularly care to listen to them.
Actively listening to the other person can automatically make them feel good to know that you are paying attention to whatever they are saying.
Also, maintaining good eye contact as well can immediately form a good relationship.
3. Don’t judge other people.
To become a likeable person, you need to understand people’s motivations to do certain things. It can help you connect with them and understand their point of view better.
It’s not good to walk into a situation with preconceived ideas and judgmental attitudes. Try not to insert your own opinions and simply just listen. This shows that you’re a genuine person and have meaningful intentions.
When you do this, you’re also validating their feelings and coming off as someone who is empathetic and reasonable.
4. Be authentic and confident.
Showing the good parts of yourself can immediately attract people who want that kind of energy in their own lives.
“When you know who you are and what you are worth and inspire others to know themselves and their worth, that is charisma,” says YourTango expert Keya Murthy, a clinical hypnotherapist and spiritual life coach.
People are drawn to others who are confident in their own personalities and can bring positivity into their own social circle. Havig authentic intentions and genuinely wanting the best for the people around you makes you a likeable person.
5. Remember people’s names — and use them.
This might seem pretty minuscule, but the best feeling in the world is when you tell someone your name and they not only remember it, but actively use it in conversations.
It shows that you were initially engaged with that person in the first initial meeting, and that you paid enough attention to memorize their name. It can make a person feel good and want to continue hanging around you and connecting with you.
6. Ask deeper questions.
If you’re looking to connect with people and form deeper friendships, skipping the small talk and asking deeper, more open-ended questions can be the trick. It helps eliminate the awkwardness in the beginning while also getting to know what shared interests you might have with someone else.
Of course, you don’t want to go too deep to where you can create an uncomfortable situation, so it also helps to read the body language of the other person and see which topics are appropriate to bring up and which are not. That can also show attentiveness and the fact that you genuinely care to not create an environment that can make the other person feel out of place.
7. Stick to your word.
To find that balance between having good intentions or bad intentions is to make sure that you are always keeping your word and your promises.
When you say something, make sure that you mean it and follow through with it. If you make a mistake, own up to it, and create the steps necessary to educate yourself to make sure you don’t ever make that mistake again.
People are only human and are definitely not perfect by any means, but showing that first initiative and being honest with the people around you as well as yourself can go a long way in creating the impression that you are a likeable and charismatic person.
There are some equally important things to avoid when trying to be likeable.
1. Being self-centered.
No one likes a person who only ever talks about themselves and never wants to include others in conversations. Constantly switching the topic of conversation to what is going on in your life, and only your life is a major turn-off that can cause people to not want to be around you.
2. Not being emotionally balanced.
Some people are either too emotional and can become too excitable in situations while others don’t show enough emotion at all.
It can be hard to find that balance, but even a simple smile or a small compliment can change that. It’s better to try and control your emotions than it is to let your emotions control you.
3. Having a negative attitude.
No one likes someone who can never see the positive side of a situation.
Negative people are notorious for draining the life out of people, which leads to no one wanting to be around them. You can immediately become unlikeable in the instances where you are the most negative.
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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.