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Love as told by the Gilmore Girls themselves.
By Isabell Tenorio — Written on Sep 03, 2020
Although the original series ended 13 years ago (with a short return in 2016), the love lessons from Gilmore Girls continue impacting viewers' lives. With its down-to-earth characters and its funny one-liners, the show can be very addicting to watch.
It also has helped fans to shape their view on love.
Here are 10 love lessons that Rory, Lorelai, and the rest of the Gilmore Girls cast have taught us through the screen.
1. It’s good to have the same values as your partner.
Rory wanted to leave her hometown of Stars Hollow and experience life as a journalist. Dean was content staying at home and didn’t show any signs of changing or leaving home anytime soon and made her feel bad for indulging in a life she never got to live growing up.
This is an example of needing your partner to understand your values and not making you feel like you have to stay the same in order to be happy with them. They should be happy with everything you want to do in life and should be okay when you want to change, not make you feel guilty for seeking new paths to follow.
2. Sometimes breaking things off is better.
Although Jess ended the relationship immaturely, he was inspired by Rory and did something with his life.
Later, because of Jess’ reality check, Rory realizes she has been letting herself and her mom down and changes herself for the better.
This is an example that, although you and a partner have ended things, they can still inspire you. Or maybe there were things they did that once you adopted it, helped you to find the correct path you need to take.
3. Be with someone who brings out the best in you.
Paris and Doyle’s relationship seemed very cartoonish, as there was always a moment where Paris was eccentric and Doyle was always at the butt end of her antagonisms. But they were able to lift each other up and motivate the other when it looked like they were pulling back from their goals.
This is an example that you don’t have to find the perfect one, but someone who will help lift you up as you would do for them. They should motivate and help clear the path for you so that you aren’t distracted from the prize you want, while also contributing.
4. Don’t run back to your ex.
Rory was falling apart and didn’t have anyone to talk to, so she thought that since things were good with Dean, that her life would fall back into place — even though he was married.
But soon she realizes that things can’t go back to being the same as both of them are different from when they first met. This is an example that although you had a good time with your ex, that doesn’t mean they are the one.
They have changed and so did you, that’s why you broke up in the first place. Also, never be with someone who is already committed, even when they say it’s not working. They either are separated from their partner or there won’t be a relationship between the two of you.
5. The length of a relationship doesn't equate to compatibility.
It would have been easy for Lorelai to stay with Christopher since he is the father of her child. And when they are together, it does seem like they fit. No one else thinks the way they do, and they know so much about the other they might as well be the same person.
But Lorelai realizes she has and will always love Luke, even if they approach life differently.
This is an example that although you have known someone for a long time, they might not be the best romantically. That doesn’t apply to every person you have known for a while, but don’t let that be the only factor that drives you into pursuing a relationship with them.
6. Having self-respect for yourself is important.
Before Jess motivated Rory to get back to her original life plan, he came to her when she was just getting started being on her own and asked her to run away with him.
She made the right decision and turned him down, which ended up working out for the two of them. And after, she realized she didn’t need to dwell in what could have been and moved on. This is an example that you shouldn’t always drop everything and sacrifice your goals in order to make someone else happy.
You need to move on from heartbreak and focus on yourself. Besides, this is the time for the other to come to their own terms that makes them happy, they shouldn’t rely on you to make them happy all the time.
7. Make sure you take the time to understand your partner's love language.
Luke wasn’t one to buy expensive gifts to give to Lorelai, but he always showed his affection by doing things he knew would make her happier.
This is an example that although you might like physical affection, your partner might not. But that doesn’t mean they don’t love you, they just show their love differently.
8. If you feel like you need to walk away, don’t feel bad.
Lorelai was with the perfect guy, Max, and marriage was around the corner. But she could not shake the feeling that something was wrong and breaks it off without giving a definite reason why.
Later, she is able to face Max and both realize that although they were great together, it wasn’t going to end well since they rushed into things. It also opened their future up to new opportunities that would have gone differently if they were still together.
This is a good example that although you feel like the person you’re with might be the one, you need to follow your gut. Are they perfect, or are you just wanting to believe they are just to finally say you’re content in life.
9. You are your own priority, and it might make relationships difficult.
He might have had good intentions, but when Logan proposed and didn’t want to live apart anymore, this wasn’t what Rory wanted for her future. She turns him down and puts herself and her career first.
In reality, Logan was only thinking about himself and didn’t ask Rory what she saw herself doing after graduating college. This is an example of not compromising with a partner when it means you won’t be able to pursue your dreams. Both partners need to support the other, even if it means them following a job across the country.
10. Never change yourself for a potential partner.
Whenever they brought a boy home for a date, the Gilmore Girls never held back from who they are at their core — even when their dates questioned them.
Why hide a part of yourself for someone else?
This is an example that you don’t need to change yourself to make yourself look better. Because if you're with the right person, they will embrace what makes you different.
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Isabell Tenorio is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture, love and relationship topics.