3 Ways To Learn How To Love Yourself (Your Happiness Counts On It)

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how To Love Yourself, have Self Compassion, Self Confidence, & Self Worth For More happiness

Self-love matters.

What is self-love?

According to Merriam-Webster, the self-love definition is: "Regard for one's own happiness or advantage."

It's something we throw around in conversation often these days. Sometimes, we refer to it as "self-care" or "self-compassion". We search earnestly for a better way to exist in a world that demands so much of us.

We are hardworking, successful, organized, and we meet so many expectations — most of them at the expense of our own health and well-being.

RELATED: 5 Reasons Why It Feels So Darn Hard To Love Yourself Sometimes

We can skip over self-love with the excuse that it’s frivolous and unnecessary. It’s become a cliché to "love ourselves". When our time is in high demand, focusing on ourselves is often the last thing on our minds.

Unfortunately, without self-love, we will find ourselves overworked, run down, and exhausted. No one else can tell you how to love yourself. When it comes to this, you are the only expert.

Here are 3 ways to get started on learning how to love yourself, offer yourself more self compassion, and find happiness. 

1. Know yourself

Many of us are so busy that we don't even pay attention to how we’re doing mentally, emotionally, or physically.

Mindfulness is a good way to begin working toward better self-awareness. It requires us to slow down and be present with ourselves in each moment. This provides enough space for us to notice the aches, the vague discomfort, the over-worked mind, the persistent anxiety — whatever it may be that is keeping us from feeling our best.

You must know yourself before you can love yourself because you cannot love yourself until you know what you need.

2. Have the right attitude

There are practical applications for self-love but before self-love can become part of our day-to-day lives, it has to become deeply rooted in our thought process.

The critical internal narrative that reminds you of your failures, questions your value, and constantly drags you down — that has to go.

Self-love begins with the way we speak to ourselves. Do we speak to ourselves with the same respect and kindness we offer to others? If the answer is anything but a resounding "yes", we have some work to do.

RELATED: 5 "Self-Love" Habits That Actually Make Your Life Worse

3. Be aware that self-love is not strictly puppy yoga and bubble baths

Not all self-care tips will apply to you. Puppy yoga and bubble baths are great, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not for everyone.  

Self-love can be paying off that credit card that always nags at you. Self-care activities can include taking a long walk outside in the sunshine. Or ending the day with a cup of tea. It can be almost anything that makes you feel happier, eases your stress and anxiety, and helps you show up in the world as the best version of yourself.

I have friends who practice self-love through exercise and others who practice self-love through mediation or taking a nap. This is where knowing yourself becomes so important. Whatever you need at the moment, knowing it, and giving it to yourself — that is practical self-love

Understanding yourself and knowing what you need can turn into a self-love habit that will revolutionize your well-being and empower you to present your best self to the world around you.

Don’t let another day go by without loving yourself in the way you deserve. 

RELATED: What Self-Love Really Means (Because It's Way More Than Just Putting Yourself First)

Gretchen Hydo is a certified professional coach, keynote speaker, nationally syndicated advice columnist, and thought leader.​ For more support, schedule your complimentary 30-minute session with her today! 

This article was originally published at Any Lengths Life Coach. Reprinted with permission from the author.